en-us School of Flaunt Handbook http://www.schoolofflaunt.com/ The Grammys http://www.schoolofflaunt.com/blogpost-111020/The-Grammys.html  

 

 

Are You Joking?

 

Grammy Awards as always sensational for knock out performances and please kill us now for outlandish dressing. Or in some cases just plain ugly!

So let us begin on our critique of the 2017 Grammy winners for dressing and more often than not offenders on how not to. We will start with something positive. Then it turns quickly into a rocky road and we aren't talking a delicious scoop of ice cream.

Kelsea Ballerini was nominated for best new artist and was wearing Ines di Santa. Not only was she gorgeous, elegant, ethereal, yes we are gushing here because she was totally flaunt fabulous. We wish her all the success in the world and hope that she will continue to look so stunning!

O.K. so now that we have the only stunning moment let's look at the shall we say, NON stunners!

There was Demi Lovato wearing Julien Macdonald who easily could be described as a photo shopped Kim Kardashian. Really Demi? You've got the money now try something different than the same old look as Kim always pulls out.

Then we have Solange in this gold foil paper looking gown by Gucci that looked like it should be cut into pieces and you would use it to wrap up Valentine's Day candy boxes in. Wonder if everyone heard a ripping sound when she sat down in it? Hope Jay Z is being a good boy. Watch out for those elevator Kicks!

Moving on Jacqueline Van Bierk was wearing who knows what? No one would surely fess up to designing this. A dress with old CD's covering it, especially in strategic areas if you know what we mean. Ridiculous but there are worse dresses we will cover.

Even sillier was Girl Crush covered in plastic balls that looked like she had just gotten out of a Mickey D's romper room in one of their restaurants. Obviously she must have doused her skirt in glue and then rolled around in plastic balls. Or some poor lackey for that designer had to glue all of those on a skirt. We can see knock offs in Walmart not too far behind in the children's clothing area.

Now here was a true classic. Joy Villa looking ridiculous trying to imitate the Statue of Liberty. White cape with a blue dress adorned with huge gold lettering saying Make America Great Again. How much did you get paid by the designer to wear that. FLOTUS, Melania must be having nightmares now, we heard her screaming in a dream, "No I say, I won't wear that!" Politics aside, we know she wouldn't because she always does look glamorous.

Let's follow up with Halsey. Ah yes, who doesn't want to be seen in blue PJ's. Bet that tape all over her breasts to hold the material down to cover them up felt great when they pulled it off. Please PJ's are for your own home not a television audience of millions.

Want to look like a cross of a tween and grandma. Well, look no further. Santigold found something in her grandmother's closet. She then asked a designer to do something with it. Picture a Peter Pan collar, puffy sleeves at the shoulders, yards and yards of pleated material for a skirt and just so you wouldn't get bored a huge, hideous applique of a three headed snake right there on her chest. Add a gross pair of platform black dull shoes and you have what we like to describe as a total "flaunt flop". Had to be seen to be believed!

And cute Tori Kelly looked so sweet but it is the Grammys dear. A green ruffled dress that only needed her to hold castanets, wear a turban with fruit on it and she could star in a 1940's movie. Tori this dress would be very cute in the summertime for cocktails by the pool not a star studded evening.

Then there was Rihanna in Armani Prive'. She looked like she was coming out of a black volcano of material. A massive skirt which was way to overpowering for her. Then finish it off with a halter top in orange that is obviously designed to show off her tattoos underneath her breasts. Your eyes couldn't help it and they went immediately to that. Ours were blinking and the brain was saying, "Ouch is this an eye test. What are we looking at?" We will add that Rihanna herself looked gorgeous.

Now we want to address Adele. Congratulations on all of your awards last night and for being such a gracious winner and speaking so highly of Beyoncé. But we were not thrilled with your choice of Givenchy. Way too much olive. Only can be described as beautiful material but other than that drab! Jar of olives seems to jump to mind.

Lady Gaga, no body shaming here. You were total Rock and Roll! Certainly not for the meek. We do not suggest this for a look though. Only Gaga could pull it off.

Lastly, Paris Jackson. Oh sweetie we do care what happens to you and know you have been having a rocky start but who is your stylist? That Balmain gown was way to matronly for you and the colors were just blah. You are turning into a strikingly beautiful woman and we wish you only the best. Get a new stylist and now!

And to end on a positive note. Katherine McPhee! You always look flaunt fabulous! Thank you and keep up the great dressing.

Your Divas of Good Taste,

Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke

#schoolofflaunt #grammies2017 #dresses2017grammies #ladygaga #adele #armani #demilovato #kelseaballerini #solange #halsey #girlcrush #halsey #joyvilla #givenchy #catheinemcphea #parisjackson

]]>
School of Flaunt Mon, 13 Feb 2017 12:00:00 PST
Trust Fund Babies! http://www.schoolofflaunt.com/blogpost-110998/Trust-Fund-Babies.html  

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, we do recommend this in the School of Flaunt Handbook, a Trust Fund for your four legged babies. Oh, so much information to give to our students of flaunt and so little time, but then we digress. Here is the story: Today we were speaking with a close friend who tells us that she has taken in two Dachshunds. We say, "Are you fostering them or did you adopt them?" Back story, she has two currently and had just lost a third one to old age last year. At that time she said, "No more than two now at a time." So, what is up with this? A neighbor had contacted her and told her that a grand dame in Naples (her neighborhood) had recently passed and her two dachshunds needed a home. Of course, my reaction was, "Oh please don't tell me that you took in two more?" She says, "Well I had them meet our two and they all got along great together." Picture me on the phone now rolling my eyes! Then she said, "They came with a 'trust fund'." My reaction, "What?" She repeats herself, "They came with a Trust Fund." We at the School of Flaunt said, "O.K. - now explain this to us." Here's the deal. All of the expenses of the dogs will be given to the vet. He will send in the bills to the trust and our friend will receive a check every month. One of the precious little ones needs special dog food at $5/can. Of course, they need grooming, baths, nails done etc. If my friend goes on vacation the Vet will board them. If they need to be walked she may hire a professional dog walker. Bedding, toys etc. all covered. And all vet bills are paid for! All she needs to do is love them up. So, our dear students of flaunt, this is a lesson for you. You should have your animals well provided for in case of your early or later demise. Just another day in The School of Flaunt!

]]>
School of Flaunt Sun, 12 Feb 2017 12:00:00 PST
Stop the Holiday Madness http://www.schoolofflaunt.com/blogpost-110530/Stop-The-Holiday-Madness.html  

 

 

Stop the Holiday Madness

 

Ah, the smell of fresh greens, mulled wine and homemade cookies is in the air. But wait there is also the smell of too many cinnamon flavored candles, women wearing to much perfume and yes Grandmother's favorite Holiday sauerkraut recipe slowly cooking for hours on the stove top.  STOP THE MADNESS, yes you can overdo for the holidays.   Heed our advice below and your holiday season should not turn into a nightmare.

 

 

1.      Those Horrible Holiday Sweaters that make you look like a Balloon in the Macy's Parade! We beg you, ugly Sweater parties are getting a bit old, don't you think?

2.      Decorating every room in the house, including your bedroom! Come on people, waking up to a tree in your Bedroom or Master Bath only signifies that you need to "Get a Life!" A Santa Face toilet cover can only be described as Ghastly! If you have the matching toilet paper roll too get rid of both. 

3.      Thinking you need to give the exact number of gifts to every family member, including pets! Cousin Billy doesn't need to have a gift just because you are giving to his mother. 

4.      Decorating your yard with Holiday Gnomes, remember we said "No plastic in your yard or home! While we are on the subject, only use one color of lights. Unify the look. Done.

5.      Too many Party Stops in one night. One cannot drink and drive about! Max out at 2 events and Uber Home. Please stay long enough to enjoy what the host and hostess have gone to the trouble of creating. Don't leave early if dinner is provided! Bad form, that one.

6.      Putting out your back to get the "perfect" Frontgate Tree up from the basement! Here Cate has had some experience. Even though her super tree can roll out of the closet, she doesn't have a closet large enough to store it in and roll out on the main floor of her home. So, she pays someone young and strong, in fact two some ones to "roll" the tree up the stairs from the basement. This saves a trip to the Urgent Care and meds.  A win, win!

7.      Lighting every nook and cranny of your outdoor space.  Puhleese, lights are wonderful, but enough is enough. The Jury is still out on this new Cover Your Home in Lights and Spots. And the dreaded Laser lights can be a bit unnerving. Don't aim into the sky and blind a Southwest Pilot! Federal offense and jail time is not a good plan. No mani's or pedi's offered in there either.

8.      Dieting of any kind. No one wants to talk to a "loser" while stuffing their face. And please if you are a Vegan you don't need to look down your nose at the meat eaters during the holidays.  Comments like this are strictly off limits in the month of December, Ex: "I don't eat anything had bones in it."  Holier than thou my friend makes your name disappear pronto off the guest list in the future.   Need we say anymore?

9.      Re-gifting. Please donate any unwanted items. Wrapping up last year's Lazy Susan from Aunt Pearl can backfire and cause many hurt feelings.

10.   And stop with giving the proverbial pair of "Holiday "socks.   Surely you can be more inventive than that.

11.   Finally, get enough rest and enjoy your family and friends. No political arguments or religious snipes!

 

Wishing you all a Happy Hanukah and a very Merry Christmas.

 

Your Divas of Good Taste,

Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke

www.schoolofflaunt.com

#holidayparties#holidaycelebrations#Uber#holidaydecorating#vegan

]]>
School of Flaunt Fri, 16 Dec 2016 12:00:00 PST
A Reflection on Muhammad Ali, The Greatest One. http://www.schoolofflaunt.com/blogpost-108283/A-Reflection-On-Muhammad-AliThe-Greatest-One.html

A Reflection on Muhammad Ali, The Greatest One.

Manners ... remember to always be minding them.

Author ... Alexandra Smythe

Many, many years ago he was one of my passengers on a flight. I made it a rule to never ask for autographs since I felt it was an intrusion on their privacy and just not respectful. But in this case I decided to throw caution to the wind. A very good friend of mine had been in Nairobi during the "Rumble in the Jungle." The next day after the fight, the newspaper in Nairobi published a full page picture of Muhammad Ali with a title above it in two inch letters saying, "ALI is KING!" My friend purchased five copies of the newspaper. And this was not an easy task since they were flying off of the racks. Why did he purchase that many? Because he wanted to make sure that nothing would happen to just one copy on his way home from Africa. No one was even allowed to read these papers. Note: Always make sure you have a backup when possible! But I digress, after he got home he had the full page framed, put under protective glass and had it hanging in his office. So, now here was the KIng himself on my flight. What a gift I could give my friend, an autograph that he could include with that framed newspaper page. So I approached The Greatest and told him the story and asked if he would mind giving my friend and autograph. He smiled that radiant smile and said, "Of course but I need something to write it on." Thank God that day we still had plenty of TWA writing paper on board. (This was the golden age of flying remember, now you don't even get a pillow!) Muhammad Ali wrote, To Sandy: Peace on Earth. Muhammad Ali and the date. Well, to say my friend was thrilled was the understatement! He had the framed newspaper reframed and added the autograph. Many years later, Muhammad was flying with me again. I thought he might enjoy hearing the story and knowing how special that autograph was. He had Parkinson's badly then and couldn't smile easily but he gave me a half smile and softly said, "Thank you." I was glad to tell him how special that autograph was and how it was still hanging in my friend's office with that newspaper front page from Nairobi. He seemed to be pleased with it too. May you Rest In Peace sir, your pain has ended but you will always be remembered: ."Float Like a Butterfly ... Sting Like a Bee." #Muhammadali #Ali #Floatlikeabutterfly #TheGreatest #fighter #Nairobi

]]>
School of Flaunt Sat, 11 Jun 2016 12:00:00 PST
The Met Gala 2016 is Flaunt at it's Best! http://www.schoolofflaunt.com/blogpost-107752/The-Met-Gala-2016-Is-Flaunt-At-Its-Best.html  

 

 

The Met Gala 2016 is Flaunt at it's Best!

 

The Met Gala 2016 is one for the books. Often referred to as "the party of the year" and "the Oscars of the East Coast," A-listers like Taylor Swift and the fashion elite converge at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City for the annual black-tie benefit for the Costume Institute.

Controlled guest list by Anna Wintour and sparkling celebs make this Red Carpet amazing. This year's theme was " Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology" and it did not disappoint. How much does it cost to attend? If you have to ask, you can't afford it. Free for top celebs, $30K for us regulars and $275K per table. They raised $12.5 Million in one "Save the Ball Gown" evening. Staggering.

 

If you missed it, we have our Favorite Flaunts:

 

Blake Lively in Burberry and Kerry Washington in Marc Jacobs , both pregnant and gorgeous.

 

Zoe Saldana in a long train of Peacock Floral Feathers by Dolce & Gabana.

 

Katy Perry in a Scary Black and Gold Prada! Scerry Perry

 

Lupita Nyong'o wearing a shimmering Calvin Klein and a Large Hair Chess Piece on her head.

 

Bey with a Super Jeweled Spanx Dress by Givenchy. She did look amazing.

 

Rita Ora in a Silver Swan Vera Wang ensemble.

 

Ciara with show stopping Silver Hair to enhance her gown by H & M. You heard right, H & M.

 

Karoline Kurkove in Marchesa & IBM that responded to tweets and emotions by changing color! She said the Battery Pack was "keeping her warm".

 

Lady Gaga in a Metal Circuit Board Bathing Suit and Cover Up by Atelier Versace and 10 inch heals that made us cringe for her. Any reports of sprained or broken bones? Seriously, did she get home in one piece?

 

Kate Hudson in a Peek a Book White Bridal Gown by Atelier Versace.. to which above mentioned Lady Gaga was supported herself by holding on.

 

Jenners and Kardashian-Wests in Balmain. No surprise there.

 

But the pies de resistance:

 

Clare Danes in a Cinderella Light Up Gown, by Zac Posen, she shared on Instagram prior to the Red Carpet.

Absolutely on theme and too gorgeous!

 

Now what will you do with your 30K you saved last night? Hope it's Flaunt Fabulous!!

Cate and Alexandra

]]>
School of Flaunt Wed, 4 May 2016 12:00:00 PST
Valentine's Day or Love the Easy Way! http://www.schoolofflaunt.com/blogpost-106300/Valentines-Day-Or-Love-The-Easy-Way.html  

 

 

Valentine's Day or Love the Easy Way!

It's almost February and there are signs of pink and red hearts everywhere. The PREASURE is on. But it doesn't have to be that way. Here at The School of Flaunt, we subscribe to a gentler, easier, dare we say, CHEAPER, Valentine's Day? Can't believe we are saying this but then we digress. Here are a few simple suggestions:

1. Do "not" go out to dinner on the 14th. You will pay too much and probably get poor service; plus the restaurants are mobbed. ICK! Go out on the 13th or 15th. There, so much nicer. But what do you do on the 14th? Read on.

2. Do make a delicious dinner "together" on the 14th. Together being the definitive term! Dinner and a good bottle of wine, hey, you might not need to eat out before or after. But we are telling you guys, you aren't off the hook for that meal out, it is a given. Don't be stupid here. Give her the roses and attached is an invitation to her favorite restaurant for a future date. This also applies for our same sex couples too. Trust us here; your evening will be much happier. You get our drift.

3. Remember old romantic moments with your spouse or significant other. Talk is Fun and Cheap! And no we are not suggesting that you scroll through your phone pics either.

To time consuming and frankly you have to go through so many dull pictures to find the one you want. You know what we mean, scrolling back and forth with the pictures. Blah, blah, blah! "Oh no that not's it, oh this is the one." Five minutes of that and you're finished. No romance there! Boring!

4. A small gift is always appreciated. Ladies, DON'T pressure your significant other into purchasing expensive jewelry for you! Did WE really say that? Yes ladies, you probably have enough or splurge once in a while yourself. Verdura, do we hear Verdura? Hello everyone, don't forget a gift does go both ways.

5. Cards are nice, but do you only toss them later? What about a LOVE LETTER?

And tie these love letters with a beautiful ribbon to enjoy later again and again. In fact why don't you start a tradition with your significant other that you each write a love letter to one another? If it is a good one, love will be in the air and possibly elsewhere too. You get our drift here.

6. After your lovely stay at home meal, binge watch House of Cards or Homeland. Nothing says romance better than our government at its worst/best. Or you can watch a recorded presidential debate. Possibly this might not lead to romance but put both of you to sleep on the couch together. Good wine is going to waste. Now that is tragic! Forget this horrible idea! And you do know we were kidding here? Please tell us that you knew we were kidding here.

7. Movies are wonderful. Pick a great one on Netflix and enjoy. Ladies if you want to do this suggest some movies ahead of time. Most guys aren't into "chick flicks" and probably you don't want to watch another Rocky movie either. Soooo, you can just have a sexy movie already set to play and surprise him! Now this he will like. We see you smiling here too. And please don't get wild here and make a sex film together. Tragically we know where some of this can lead. Unless you want to follow the career path of a certain Kardashian? Enough said.

8. Use candles to light your fire; just remember to put them out. We're talking to Cate's Mumsy right now. Burning the house down will not make for a special love night. Capish?!

9. And lastly we wouldn't think this necessary to say, BUT please do not plan a business trip on Valentine's Day. We are getting a headache from this and your significant other will probably have one for about a week! If you must be out of town, do all of the above at an earlier date, making it totally clear this is for Valentine's Day. We said, TOTALLY here!

So on Valentine's Day just enjoy your loved ones and count your blessings. If you're lucky, count your investments too!

Happy V Day!!

Your Divas of Good Taste and Flaunt Fun,

Cate Clarke and Alexandra Smythe

#Valentine's Day,#Verdura, #Kardashians

#Valentine'sDay #Verdura #Houseofcards #Kardashian

]]>
School of Flaunt Sat, 30 Jan 2016 12:00:00 PST
Lesson Six: SOF Attitude, Manners and Etiquette http://www.schoolofflaunt.com/blogpost-104340/Lesson-SixSof-AttitudeManners-And-Etiquette.html  

 

 

Lesson Six: SOF Attitude, Manners and Etiquette

"Are You Behaving Badly?"

 

In our introduction to the School of Flaunt Handbook we spoke about how all of you are starting to resemble actors in fast food commercials. Smacking your lips and licking your fingers. Who needs napkins? How silly of us.

Unfortunately our society seems to be revolving around the mundane, reality television, or even worse yet the MTV Video Music Awards.

Yes, the unfiltered mouths of some which made it necessary to have tape delays to handle the abundant cursing, was again necessary!

We watched as Miley Cyrus made politically incorrect comments about Snoop Dogg, or is it Lion? saying he was "my real mammy." Stop and think Miley dear, we don't call anyone's Mother, Mammy anymore! We think that term went out with the Civil War?

And then we had Nicki Minaj who closed her speech with a throw down the gauntlet remark to Miley Cyrus when she said, "this bitch (meaning Miley) who had a lot to say about me last week in the press." Wow, Miley and Nicki now are having a moment! Gives us the chills. And we are all lucky enough to witness it live on TV. Does it get any better than that or are we just watching another form of a fake TV wrestling match? Could it be all about ratings?

But the truly sad thing about this entire evening was that our children are watching this nonsense and thinking this is the way you can act in society and get away with it. Rude, cursing, boobs popping out of clothes, which by the way the clothes on some of the parties were almost nonexistent. Tacky not sexy! But then that takes us to another topic of how to dress so we won't digress here.

All we are asking dear students of flaunt is that you conduct yourselves like ladies and gentleman. It truly isn't that hard and you will probably stand out from the crowd of the boorish and common.

Now that is not to say that you can't use new words that that are actually in the Oxford dictionary.

Take for instance "kayfabe". The fact or convention of presenting staged performances as genuine or authentic. It is largely used in pro wrestling circles, but the dictionary says it origin is unknown, except possibly as a reversal of the phrase, "be fake." Hmm do you think we saw many Kayfabes at the MTV awards show? Or maybe all of those reality TV shows are kayfabes? Just asking.

And we love this one. "Rando", a person one does not know, especially one regarded as odd, suspicious, or "engaging in socially inappropriate behavior." Do you think we saw enough Randos at the MTV awards? Maybe the MTV Awards show should be renamed to "MTV Randos." Has a certain ring to it.

Then believe it or not "awesomesauce" meaning extremely good or excellent has been added. Sorry we feel that one will be archaic in another year or two. Brings up that ad between the two sisters that you see every other minute on TV. Boring.

Puhleese, give us a break. Imagine you are sitting in a board meeting and you hear someone commenting about your latest proposal with, "awesomesauce." Well, you get our point? Don't you? Please tell us you do.

Then there is "on boarding" which comes from the HR department. It is describing the action or process of integrating a new employee into an organization or familiarizing a new customer or client with one's products or services. We happen to approve of this one. Succinct and makes sense.

Ever seen someone put Mkay at the end of a sentence? It is a non standard way of spelling or saying "Okay". Oxford says it is a way to invite agreement. Frankly we wouldn't put that at the end of a sentence. You will look very young and juvenile if you use that on your note to the boss, unless he is 25 years of age too. Okay.

But our favorite new word is Hangry. It means bad tempered or irritable as a result of hunger. So since we are hangry now, we will close with these final thoughts.

Please don't use vulgar slang and try to keep your new words appropriate to the situation and people you are speaking with.

We ask now that you repeat: dope, dude, like, like, uh, amazing, like awesome, Booyah, awesomesauce, and now you know what I'm talking about. If these sound like familiar banter then put your baseball cap on backwards or sideways. Now look into the mirror. If you think that you are Boardroom material or ready for Wall Street please never admit that you have read anything from the School of Flaunt. In fact if you have purchased our book please dispose of it immediately and tell no one that you have ever read it! Merci!

Your Divas of Good Taste,

Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke

www.schoolofflaunt.com

#MileyCyrus #NickiMinaz #MTV #MTVV.M.A.s #Oxforddictionary

]]>
School of Flaunt Tue, 1 Sep 2015 12:00:00 PST
Votre Maison All Gated Communities are not Created Equal! http://www.schoolofflaunt.com/blogpost-100905/All-Gated-Communities-Are-Not-Created-Equal.html  

Margaret Russell and Mary Douglas Drysdale

Lesson Four:

Votre Maison "All Gated Communities are not Created Equal!"

 

Does Margaret Russell know where you live? She certainly should. Why? Because she is the editor-in-chief of Architectural Digest, the most prestigious interiors magazine in the United States. Keep Up Students!

This leads us to choosing an Interior Designer. Needless to say their job is usually easier when you have a view but basically their most important work is to introduce you to the elegance and taste of a truly unique home. Remember we said, "elegance and taste." Pity the poor home that has twenty rooms but is decorated piecemeal with objects from the Dollar Store or your local Assistance League. Note: Look to frequenting "estate sales" and we do not mean "yard sales" and absolutely no dumpster diving either! Chances of you finding anything of real value are a million in one shot. The thrill of the chase, wearing a hat, sunglasses and disguise to rifle through someone's trash with the hopes of finding an antique are just not worth it. But back to yard sales - Heaven forbid you are seen by someone's staff who might be at this yard sale and they recognize you. We feel like a "case of the bends" is starting at just thinking about that entire scenario.

If you bring this up to a prospective designer for them to do, well some might, but we seriously doubt that most would like to spend their weekends going to yard sales. Don't be surprised if this isn't their reaction: first we can see their eyes rolling up into the back of their head as you ask them to do this. Then they frantically are closing their portfolio of previous jobs, tripping over your ugly little coffee table that has your Grandmother's doilies on it and have started running for the nearest exit screaming for someone to help them find the front door! After they get back to their office they are trying to makeup their minds if they had just awoken from a nightmare or did it really happen? When they decide it was for real they will be on the phone ASAP. Wait until this gets around the decorating community. No one will return your calls!

Now if this isn't enough to make you stop and think, picture this awful scene when you are dumpster diving: the local police stopping you while you are rifling through someone's trash cans at night for a non-existent treasure. Remember they writeup reports that usually end up in the local paper to fill space but in this case it will probably make some headlines because of your status in the community: "Socialite Caught Rifling Through Upscale Neighborhood's Trash Cans!" When asked what she was doing she replied, "Oh dumpster diving for goodies. It is so much fun." Please will someone get us a glass of champagne and a pillow to relax on while we try to recoup from that ugly little picture! Your reputation is simply ruined, you might as well move out of town!

But we have digressed: back to choosing a designer, you might try a budding new one but be very careful here and if unsure stick with the tried and true designers with pedigrees that resemble: Albert Hadley & Sister Parish, Billy Baldwin, Barbara Barry, Mark Hampton, Barry Darr Dixon, Joel Woodward, Mary Douglas Drysdale or Mario Buatta. They are worth the investment and we are sure their designs will speak School of Flaunt.

We have only skimmed the surface of Lesson Four in The School of Flaunt Handbook. Here is one question from our Lesson Four Quiz:

What should a Gated Community have?

a. A Guard House manned 24/7!

b. A private golf course

c. If on the water, each home should have its own private dock

d. Air strip for private planes

e. $450 space rent for your double wide including trash pick up

f. A. B & C

Answer: F - Air strips are way too noisy for the neighbors. Think John Travolta with his commercial plane - YIKES! If the area should have landing rights for Helicopters make sure they have restricted hours. If you answered E you have been thrown our of the School of Flaunt!

Now who are these two lovely ladies pictured below? Puhleese this is one of our simplest questions! Scroll down below for the correct answer. And now go to our web site and get our book immediately!

www.schoolofflaunt.com

]]>
School of Flaunt Thu, 5 Mar 2015 12:00:00 PST
HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY - A New Twist for Brisket! http://www.schoolofflaunt.com/blogpost-100630/Happy-StPattys-Day---A-New-Twist-For-Brisket.html  

 

 

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY - A New Twist for Brisket!

"Misted Brisket"

¾ c Irish Mist Liqueur (do not use any other liqueur NO exceptions)

1 Box pitted prunes

3-4 lbs. beef brisket

2 onions, diced

2 ribs celery, diced

½ Tsp Salt

½ Tsp Pepper

½ Tsp Ground Ginger

3 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce

1 cup water

2 Tbsp lemon juice

½ cup brown sugar

8 carrots halved

New Potatoes

Cabbage

Heat Irish Mist in microwave until warm, add prunes and let steep.

Brown brisket on both sides in oil

Brown onion and celery in oil

Transfer brisket to a roasting pan, season it with salt, pepper, ginger and then spread Worcestershire sauce on top

Put browned onion and celery on the top of brisket and on the sides

Combine lemon juice, brown sugar and water (sugar will dissolve in the water, mix with a spoon) and add to pan

Cover pan with heavy aluminum foil and make sure that it is tight around on the top of the roasting pan

Cook for one hour at 300 degrees, remove foil

Add Irish Mist, prunes and carrots

Replace foil and roast for another 1 ½ hours or until meat is fork tender

Place prunes on top of sliced briskets with some of the juice, with onions and celery

Serve with new boiled potatoes and steamed cabbage

Put extra juice in a gravy boat to be served individually

This meal is so filling that you need only a very small salad or not one at all. Do not let the meat sit for a long period of time in the hot liquid. Suggested that you cut and serve immediately. Leftovers the next day are terrific. Microwave for rewarming. Hint: Add lots of extra carrots when you are originally cooking because you will want more of them the next night. They are like eating candy!

Serves 4-6

Anonymous

]]>
School of Flaunt Mon, 23 Feb 2015 12:00:00 PST
Plastic Surgery, A Stitch In Time Saves Nine, Years, that is! http://www.schoolofflaunt.com/blogpost-98384/Plastic-Surgery-Reviews.html  

 

Due to some hidieous plastic surgery results we have recently viewed, we felt the need to repost a small portion of The School of Flaunt Handbook that addresses such. Read on.

School of Flaunt

Lesson Fourteen

Plastic Surgery:

"A Stitch in Time Saves Nine, Years, That is"

One of the most serious of SOF endorsements goes to those dedicated surgeons of the Plastic variety! Why pray for miracles when you need only make an appointment?

"Oh, that this too solid flesh would melt?" Well, trust us, it can! Bob it, tuck it, lift it, but do it! Put your best face and frame forward. Plus in a number of cases your health might be improved by any of these techniques. Well, then maybe not, but you sure are going to "mentally" feel better when you look into that mirror. That's half the battle, the other is making sure that you always return for a little up keep.

Now we know that we must bring this up. What you ask? The old question of when is too much too much? Well, when your breast size looks like you should be working on your next pole dance routine. Please Ladies we know the temptation is there. You've always felt that you were, shall we say flat? Don't go over board. Do you really only want people to be looking at your breasts and not your face that you just spent all of that time and money on to make sure it looks fabulous? Do you want to be jogging and knock yourself out with those things? Not to mention, that implants can "wander"! Yes, Students, implants can take on a life of their own, moving hither and yawn. And you cannot stop them, they know it and will try to get away at any cost! Also they can contract "folds", as in implant folds. Never heard of them? Well, they do exist and let us tell you, not pretty. No plastic breast surgeon is going to give you all these dirty little implant secrets! So be forewarned. Oops, one more little problem-deflation. Yes, you heard it right. They Pop! They LEAK! and slowly die a silent death. One day you are in the shower, and you think you have lost your mind.....why am I so lopsided? Back to the Surgery Ward but quick! We won't go any further we think you have the picture now. Before we forget, if you have the opposite problem of to much please then get those breasts reduced. Your back will thank you for it and you will look so much better in your clothes. Remember gravity Ladies. You can't stop it!

As for facial surgeries, you don't want to end up looking like a "cat woman". (Yes, we are talking to all you blondes at "The Ivy" in Beverly Hills!) Meaning, pulled back so tight that if you tried to smile it would be impossible. This leads us to Botox. Yes it can be wonderful but also be very careful. We had a neighbor and his wife that always looked so unpleasant. Naturally we never made any effort to meet them. Well, we came to find out that they both got Botox on a regular basis. It was impossible for them to smile! They were permanently in a state of being frozen facially. Very, very bad!

Alas, you or your husband has had plastic surgery and the little ones resemble your former self. Fear not, after 16 those noses can be corrected just like you did. Why should any young person not avail themselves of being able to improve upon Mother Nature and heredity? Never let little juniors of either sex go through life with unpleasant features, such as crooked teeth and trophy ears. These are easily taken care of. Actually we knew of many a high school student that not only got their nose done but had their ears done at the same time. It was called a Happy Birthday present. True!

Of course, we at the SOF do not endorse breast augmentation for anyone under twenty five years of age. Besides, in many cases, it makes one look "heavy". And whatever you do, do not, we repeat, do not succumb to the pouty lip augmentation!!! Ghastly, that one.

Picture us sticking our lips out!

Alexandra & Cate

]]>
School of Flaunt Mon, 22 Sep 2014 12:00:00 PST