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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Where's Mummy?

Category: Mummy's Adventures  |  Permalink

Published: Friday, June 20, 2014

 

 

 

 

Where is Mummy?

For over two weeks the Mummy File has gone underground. No calls, no emails, no shrieking "Pop Ins", of which my mother is famous. Well, I can play this game. No news is good news?

I will not buckle. OH, OK, I did try my father's cell, but he didn't pick up. And when he does it is daunting to have a conversation with an older gentleman throwing his device on the floor and screaming, "How does this Bloody thing work?"

But getting back to my Mother, yes, it has been quiet, Clarissa Cadbury has gone dark.

So imagine my surprise when I turned on the BBC and there she was in all her glory. I'm talking about the Ascot Royal Enclosure here.

Styled with the perfect chapeau, Mummy was clearly aware of the camera, as she chatted up HRH and Prince Phillip. There they all were laughing and nodding at my lovely mother. HAH!!

Now it is all becoming clear. You see, the one thing I begged my mother for this year was an invitation to the Royal Enclosure for the Ascot Races. Not for Moi, but for my daughter, Fiona, who has just gone through a heartbreak and could use her Granny's help in the social department.

WELL. This is too low. Even for Mummy. There she was giggling with Harry and Prince Charles, with the Countess of Wessex hanging on her every word. How could a granddaughter, and a lovely one at that, hurt this situation?

A little Back Story as we say in the biz:

My daughter, Fiona had recently gone through a breakup with a handsome banker. Frankly, her father and I were thrilled but Fiona is feeling the pain, and then no invitation to the Memphis wedding that all the Royals went to last month! Yes, she feels shunned.

So of course, I mentioned to Mummy to help in the social department, at least for the Ascot season. But noooo. She had to go herself, thereby leaving her granddaughter in the dust.

Phone Rings

Moi: Helloooo?

Fiona: Hi Mom!! Grandmother and I are on TV!!! Check out BBC 4. We are at Ascot!!! Having a glass of bubbly and a ball. I just took a selfie of Grandmother, Harry and myself!! Can you believe it?

Moi: Sheepishly, "Oh darling that is wonderful. Have a great time and I will be glued to the telly. Bye, Bye."

Phone is re-cradled. I am soooo embarrassed and YES, I am printing this as it happened. My mother did a great thing for her granddaughter and I am sorry I doubted her. Well, never again. She is a grand grandmother!!

What's this? My mother is on Live TV twerking with Harry in the Royal Enclosure??? Young people are laughing and taking photos!!! I can see Fiona backing away.

NOOOOO, I am leaving the country.

Cate Clarke

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