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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Oscars 2013!

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Tuesday, February 26, 2013

 

 

 

Oscars 2013!

Musings from Alexandra and Cate

Alexandra Smythe:

I sat down with my champagne, smoked salmon, selection of cheeses and toasted pecans for the four hours of Oscars! Surprisingly my husband joined me for the entire show. Probably the champagne was really why he was there.

So as we settled in what was the first thing we were greeted with but Brandi Granville. Who is she? One of the housewives from the reality TV show Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I almost fell off the chair. Miss Granville's dress needed about two more inches of material, no not in length but to cover her breasts. Let's put it this way if she made a sudden move they surely would have popped out! Those poor things looked so crushed and uncomfortable! I bet when Brandi finally released them from that dress last night there was a sigh of relief on their part. Sorry that was not sexy or pretty! Flaunt FLOP!!

So let's just get through some of the major flaunt flops before we get to the Flaunt Fabulous looks! And we might add there were only a few this year. No silly outfits or posturing with your leg stuck out of your dress and fortunately no one showed up in a meat dress either. Oh I forgot that was Lady Gaga at the Grammys which always is a night of awful taste! But I digress.

First we have Kristen Stewart, our Twilight girl, looking so bored! Sorry you were on crutches and forced to show up Kristen. But really young lady this translated into making your Reem Acra gown so-so. Add in your nothing hair-do with that sullen look on your face and it shrieked Flaunt Flop!

Moving on, Tabatha Coffey, from Bravo TV, evidently didn't get our e-mail that black leather Opera gloves do nothing for a black dress with feathers. Get the whips out boys! Sorry, another Flaunt Flop!

Then there was Zoe Saldana, who had this mishmash of a dress from Alexis Mabille. It was like the designer couldn't make up their mind. Let's put some flowers on the top of the bodice, hmm little belts are in; better add that, and a train. Train is rather boring so let's make it three colors! Zoe please get a new stylist! This year's didn't help you.

Lastly there was Daryl Hannah. Haven't seen much of her lately? Obviously she was not on the A-list for any designers wishing to have their work shown. The dress looked awful on her, her posture was even worse and then WHO did her hair! Daryl call either Cate or me next time!!

But enough of the Flaunt Flops, who was absolutely Flaunt Fabulous? There were many but I will just name my favorites not necessarily in order:

Charlize Theron!!! OMG, DIOR peplum gown. The whole look from hair, jewelry and gown was perfect Flaunt!!!!!

Jennifer Garner was Flaunt Fabulous in her plum GUCCI dress that was made just for her. I wanted to see more of the back of it!! This reminded me of something our good friend Joel Woodard would have designed.

Jennifer Lawrence in a pale pink DIOR strapless gown was just too wonderful. When I saw her on the red carpet in that gown I immediately said, "That is just the most beautiful dress I've seen tonight!" The diamond necklace falling from her throat over her back was just the right touch too!

Catherine Zeta-Jones was wearing a gold Zuhair Murad. The woman could wear a sack and make it look flaunt fabulous! Hair, jewelry, and the way she looks at the camera that is why the woman is a star!

Salma Hayek, all I can say is the woman is drop dead gorgeous! She was wearing an Alexander McQueen VELVET, yes midnight blue velvet gown with a bejeweled collar. Stunning! I hope velvet will be making a comeback!!!!

Sandra Bullock shown like a regal star last night. She was the epitome of understated elegance in Elie Saab!! Having her hair fairly straight worked perfectly with the dress! Flaunt with flair!

And last I could not leave off the list Jane Fonda. The woman was gorgeous in a vibrant yellow Atelier Versace gown that was not only flattering to her figure but age appropriate. I also loved the touch of shoulder pads. Shoulders pad can be good for your figure ladies. Thank you Jane for showing us that even when you are 75 years young you can look flaunt fabulous!

 

Cate Clarke:

 

We too settled in with Cocktails and Nibbles, catered from a local fave, (you know I am a challenged chef). Fiona joined us as she was in town! So there we were snug as bugs in rugs waiting and waiting and waiting. Seth MacFarlane was talking and talking and nothing. Now he is dancing with Harry Potter? Los Angeles Gay Chorus singing about Seeing Your Boobs? Please. Can we please start the award show??? We turn back to E where they are going over the Red Carpet details.

Our picks for Flaunt Fabulous: Amy Adams in Oscar de la Renta. Jessica Chastain in Armani Prive'. Jennifer Lawrence in Dior Haute Couture. All these women were beautiful, well-coiffed, and carried themselves elegantly. Even a slip on the steps of accepting her Oscar for Best Actress, Jennifer Lawrence was gracious and glamorous.

Sipping our cocktails in our yoga pants, I hate to say there were failures, but we were disappointed in the following: Halle Berry, who never misses with her gowns, looked good, we just didn't love the Versace Art Deco look. Most loved Naomi Watt's sparkling dress, we did not love it. The Flaunt Flop of the evening went to another beauty that normally hits them out of the park, Anne Hathaway. Her pale pink Prada gown with Nipples even had its own Twitter address within minutes. Never have I seen Anne in such a miss. Clearly she didn't look in the mirror. It seems she was to wear Valentino, who was there, by the way, and pulled a switch when she heard that a similar look would be worn by her Les Mis buddy, Amanda Seyfried. Too bad. This pink Prada was a disaster. Even with a gorgeous Tiffany necklace.

Back to the slow show. The ladies' singing was great. Loved Adele, don't you wish you could watch her makeup artist do those heavy eyelashes? They should have names. They could be pets! Shirley Bassey brought the house down with "Gold Finger". Small aside, it seems the 007 Tribute was a Flaunt Flop due to most of the former Bonds are in a feud with the Broccoli family. Hmmmm disappointed not to see Sean Connery. He was the only 007 for me.

More songs from Les Miserables Cast and Barbara. Now it is time for bed, this 4 hour show is too long. Oops, here in Michelle Obama? What? Love your bangs! Say, could you go upstairs and ask your husband to fix this sequester thing?

Well, nice try Seth. Your father in a kilt was adorable, however, we vote for Jimmy Fallon or Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. Maybe next time?

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