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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Mummy Meets Miguel

Category: Mummy's Adventures  |  Permalink

Published: Wednesday, January 2, 2013


Mummy Meets Miguel

Well, you know it had to happen sooner or later. My glorious Mother would some day descend into town and there would go my magnificent Miguel. Or as he likes to say, "Painter of the Stars". Truthfully, I am not a Star, nor do I know any, and neither does Miguel, but this is our little joke between Miguel, Mr. Clarke and me. Miguel has been painting our house for months, now. He lives in our guest house and busies himself around all day. He drives Mr. Clarke's new car, with permission, of course, and has taken to cooking many of our meals. Hmmmm perhaps that is why my husband is so happy with Miguel being onsite? But I digress.

Yes, sooner or later, Mummy would land stateside and all would be lost. I just didn't know by whom?

So, enter my parents for the Christmas Holidays. Also in tow was my Mother's BFF, Evelyn, (pronounced: EEVElyn. I promised her that correction.) All was well until Mummy heard the whistling of my painter. OH NO, I thought. She will take him.

"Not so fast, Mumsy!" I said as I blocked her way across the pool toward the Guest House. "No one messes with my painter!"

"Your what?" as she deftly sidestepped and trotted across the lawn. Now I am running. "Stop! Do not go any further!" With this commotion, Miguel exits the front door of the Guest House.

Mees Catty, who do we have here? Smiling broadly, he bows to my Mother. Ughhhh

Giving up the ghost, so to speak, I mumble: Mother, this is Miguel, our painter and friend! Miguel, this is my Mother, Clarissa Cadbury.

Mummy has that look of sweet, syrupy look on her face.

Mummy: How nice to meet you Miguel.

Miguel: My pleasure Meesus Cadburrry.

Mummy: Please call me Clarissa, Mr.?

Miguel: Hernandez, Miguel Hernandez. But I inseest that you call me Miguel!

All smiling now. Mr. Clarke has joined us and is watching his chef be railroaded!

Mr. Clarke: Miguel, let's have some drinks on the patio. Can you help me?

Drinks being prepared. We settle into seating around the outdoor dining area. Just as I am about to sip my first sip, in she walks- the Home Wrecker, Evelyn.

Freshened from her flight, Evelyn saunters onto the patio in a darling sundress. I had to admit, she looked great. If you will recall, both my Mother and Evelyn had some plastic surgery in their last visit to New York. (And took years off my life, not my face, to achieve this.) See: Divas' Diaries, Mummy Takes Manhattan.

Evelyn: Helloooo! What am I missing? Cocktails? How divine! She has spotted Miguel and the eyelashes are batting! Now where has she learned that?

Mummy: Evelyn, darling this is Miguel Hernandez. He is helping Cate decorate this dump, I mean home.

Aside: If it's not in the Cotswold's, its NO WHERE.

Mr. Clarke: And he is a mighty fine cook. Giving our appliances quite a workout, eh?

Enter my Father.

Daddy: I say, what's all this chatter, Drinks? Don't mind if I do. Sit down everyone. Hello Miguel pleased to make your acquaintance. Hands are being shaken.

So we all sip and chatter and new friendships are being made. BIG TIME

To be continued.


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