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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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I’m Off to Sweet Alabama!

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Friday, September 21, 2012


"I'm Off to Sweet Alabama"

The Adventure Begins!!

Part II

My tickets arrive by e-mail and yes she did book me in first class. What to bring? Well, it will be hotter than the blue blazes and humid so think casual! Sandals, light skirts and slacks, sort sleeve blouses and yes, jeans. Little did I know how many times I would be in jeans and my bathrobe!

The flight to Dallas was uneventful. First class totally as boring as always. It is now only a sad version of what coach meals used to be. I'll rephrase that, coach meals at one time were better than what we were offered. The only redeeming feature is the seat is bigger. No passing of newspapers or magazines, no offering of drinks on the ground before depart, no headsets to listen to music and flight attendants who are professional but seem to be devoid of personality. Robotic might be a way to describe them. As an aside here, we used to have some great conversations and meet some interesting people on flight. Maybe you people should try this again. It might make your job more fun! Just a thought.

I arrive in Dallas with a short connection to Alabama. So I don't waste any time and get on the tram to go to another terminal. What next? We are on this thing and it doesn't move. Then we hear an announcement that we all need to get off of the tram. Gheez, my first thought was "are we going to have to evacuate the terminal too." Once a flight attendant always a flight attendant and that had happened to me. Then airport personnel arrive and say there is another tram coming and this one is going in for repairs. Perfect! I've got a 35 minute connection. Thankfully another one comes within a few minutes. We all get on and sit and sit and sit! I'm looking at my watch now and have to admit there is some panic going on in my mind. It's not like there are a million connections to Alabama. I can't stand it anymore and get off the tram and proceed to the escalator to walk over to the next terminal. I use the word walk here loosely, for it was more like a speed walk! I arrive at the gate with ten minutes to spare. God traveling is so much fun!

I'm now on one of those commuter jets where if you are slightly the least bit tall, like over 5'5" you feel like the ceiling is going to hit you in the head. I sit down, organize myself and get out my book. The flight attendant makes an announcement that we should fasten our seat belts, etc. for departure. Well, my seat belt is really hard to clip together. Then I think, "Will this thing unlock easier than it was to get it together." Answer, NO! Well, again the flight attendant kicks in for me and I think in an emergency situation I don't want to be fighting with a seat belt to get off of this bus! So I move. The flight attendant is now walking down the aisle checking seat belts and when she gets to my row I tell her about the seat belt and mention that in an emergency situation someone might panic when they couldn't get the seat belt to unlock easily. She says she will check it. Do you know what she said to me next? You're not going to believe this. "I just checked it and the majority of them work this way." I bit my tongue! And just stared at her. I couldn't believe my ears! Lord just let me make it to Alabama!!

The rest of my trip was uneventful, on time and my friends were there to greet me at baggage claim. Lots of hugs and kisses. And you ask, "How good did the husband look?" Really good!

To be continued


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