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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Fines for Oak Pruning

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Fines for Oak Pruning

Or

What did she do?

I was reading an article the other day and it was about how a man was being fined for having a pruning service cut back his trees. The city only allowed for 25% and they claimed he had cut back his trees by 30 to 70%. Plus he hadn't applied for a permit! Why do I see law suits coming?

As many of you know I can spend hours in my yard pruning, planting and feeding my beloved outdoor children. Yes I do think of my plants etc. as my children. I will do most anything to keep them alive and healthy. Now LB had called me the other day and she had been up to her usual shenanigans. What pray tell?

She told me that she had gone out for a walk and when proceeding down her driveway she thought, "You know some of these trees just need to be trimmed." So what did she do? You guessed it she went into the barn and got a pair of tree trimming sheers. FOUR HOURS later she was finished with her driveway pruning. Note: Her driveway is approximately 800 feet long.

Here is part of the conversation:

LB: "You know I never could understand how you could spend so much time doing yard work. It isn't like you don't have some people coming in to help. You aren't going to believe this but I just spent four hours working on my trees. I don't know how you can do this?"

Moi: "Well, I enjoy it and the reward is at the end of the day admiring everything, after taking a warm bath and drinking a glass of wine."

LB: "I know you have said that before but here was my problem with that. I knew I was going to be really stiff so I decided that a hot whirlpool bath was in order. I ran the water for it. But then I realized that I should really put some Epsom salts in the water so I had to find them. Then I thought I better get out that cushion for my head and yes some candles would be nice too. But if I had candles then I surely needed some nice music which required me to go put some music on. While I was looking at the music selection I decided that I really needed a glass of wine with all of this. And by the time I got back to step into the tub the water was cold! I had to empty the tub and start all over again."

Moi: I must admit I was laughing at her now and said, "Well, it is all in the planning, you'll get better at this."

LB: "Planning, HA! I'm never doing this again! You aren't going to believe this. I'm finally enjoying my soak when what do I hear? The Donald is home and he is yelling, "LB, LB where are you? What happened to all of our trees? Some idiot has trimmed too much off of them. If that gardener thinks I'm paying him for butchering out trees he has another thing coming!"

Moi: "OMG, what did you do?"

LB: "Well, I thought I had done a wonderful job. Obviously his Majesty didn't. I'll just have to fire the gardener so he doesn't know I did it."

Moi: "You are going to let the gardener take the hit for this?"

LB: "Of course but I'll give him a nice bonus and tell him if he needs a recommendation to call me and not the Donald."

Moral of the story: Don't let LB lose with a pair of shears! She has a brown thumb!

Alexandra

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