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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Black Friday Cyber Shopping!

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Black Friday Cyber Shopping! Now We are Cooking With Gas!

I was just looking mind you. Just a peek at what was on SALE and there it was!! The new gas range I had been looking at! Savings: $650!!

Oh yes this was going to finish off my kitchen nicely. You see I have been replacing everything including the kitchen sink. Well, not the granite counter tops mind you that would be silly and frankly I'm not tired of them yet. Maybe next year? But we won't tell Mr. Clarke that, will we?

OK, where is my Credit Card? I can feel my hands shaking a little, in anticipation of my purchase. And also I was afraid that they would run out. For of course they always say limited number available to get you to move on it!

So my hands are shaking and my stomach is getting that knot in it while I am fishing in my handbag, note I did not say "purse", and then a CHAT window appears with a Personal Shopper, named Shawn.

Yippee! I am online with a personal shopper:

Shawn: My name is Shawn how may I heelp you today? (I cannot place the type of accent?)

Moi: I would like to purchase this Flaunt Fabulous range. Let me give you the catalogue number.

Shawn: Theese is a great range. Flaunt fabuuulous as you said. I will have to remember that for future customers.

Moi: Thank you Shawn.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Moi: Typing: Are you there? Shawn, Hellllloooo?

PS: Yes, Shawn here. Your flaunt fabuuuulous personal shopper.

Moi: Can I give you my card number?

PS: What is it you vant to purchase?

Moi: That Flaunt Fabulous range. Remember Shawn?

PS: Theese is a great range. Good choice, only 1 left.

Moi: Yes, we have been through my good choice. Can we finish this order? I can feel myself slightly starting to panic now because he said there is only one left!

PS: Why yes madam.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Moi: Shawn this is taking too long. I am leaving.

Chat window BLOWS UP!

PS: Vait, Vait! I see on the screen, Shawn can help you, being typed rapidly.

Moi: I'm pressing the escape key and saying under my breath, Goodbye Shawn!

Why did I bother? I proceed to order online in a few seconds myself. What a relief, I think I got the last one? But who knows who cares really for I just saved $650!

Three days later my flaunt fabulous range was delivered, installed and as we stood around admiring our beautiful kitchen, Mr. Clarke nodded in approval. As well he should! These decisions are not made lightly. And Mummy will be visiting and I do enjoy her approval.

Mr. Clarke: Well, what's for dinner, Cate?

Moi: I can't possible use my new appliances! Mummy will be visiting and I want everything to look NEW! How about Chinese takeout?

Mr. Clarke: Darling of course. Why did I not know what that answer would be? I can see him smiling from the corner of my eye.

Moi: I think I have their number right here on my cell phone. Ah perfect here it is. (Dialing China Wok now.)

China Wok: Hello China Wok, how may we help you?

Moi: This is Cate Clarke. I would like to order for takeout.

China Wok: Oh Good evening Ms. Clarke and have you finished remodeling your

Kitchen?

Well, as I said, I can't use any of those appliances until after Mummy has visited! Now can I?

Cate Clarke

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