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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Camping or Surely You Jest?

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Tuesday, November 1, 2011

CAMPING

Or

Surely You Jest?

Ring   Ring   Ring

There goes the phone. Caller ID, it is LB.

Moi: "Hi, what's up?"

LB: "OMG the four of us are going to go camping!"

Moi: "The four of us; as in you, me and our husbands?"

LB: "Yes it is going to be so much fun!"

Moi: Picture me rolling my eyes now and looking upwards to the heavens. "LB, have you lost your mind? You know my idea of camping is a Holiday Inn without room service."

LB: "No, this is going to be great! I just saw an article on the Internet about how you can have a Vogue weekend in the Catskills at a place called Kate's Lazy Meadow. Anyway, they suggested that you take an $800 chess set and a Prada backpack. Doesn't that sound just to divine?"

Moi: "And where does one stay while at this Kate's Lazy Meadow so that we can use the chess set?" As thoughts of me and a Prada backpack floated through my mind and the phrase, "Sure when I need a backpack it will be a cold day in Hell."

LB: "Well, it's not a No Tell Motel. But they have cute little Airstream thingies you can stay in. One

is called the Tinkerbelle and another is the Bubbles."

Moi: "Wait, what do you mean? Airstream thingies, as in those RV campers you pull behind a truck?"

LB: "Yes, but I knew you would probably balk at that suggestion. So here is the good news. They have cabins!"

Meanwhile I'm thinking, "Ohh JOY! Next thing you know she will be suggesting we go to a third world country and stay in a hut for an adventure!"

LB: "Yes, we can stay in a cute three bedroom Lazy Cabin on Mink Hollow Road."

Now I know why she is interested! She is picturing herself in her full length mink coat on Mink Hollow Road! Puh leese!!

LB: "They have all of the modern conveniences, an eat- in kitchen with a wood stove, a living room with a gas fireplace, high speed internet, cable and even unlimited telephone usage."

I'm thinking, "Right, unlimited telephone usage because you can't get cell phone reception. Wait until she discovers that!"

LB: "And don't worry, we don't have to share with others even though we only need two out of the three bedrooms! This is going to be so relaxing and so much fun."

Moi: Trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, "I hate to dash your dream vacation here, but didn't they just get 20 inches of snow there? Wasn't there a big Nor'easter that just hammered that area?"

LB: "OMG, I think you are right. Well, would you consider doing it next summer?"

Moi: "Well my dear, if you want to treat?" I'm being facetious now but she is still serious!

LB: "I will! And you know maybe what I'll do is take the whole family. We can rent out the entire place. The kids will have such a wonderful time communing with nature. Oh I better book now and I'll make up some great invitations to send out. Oh this is going to be so much fun! We can roast marshmallows, hike, fish, all of those outdoorsy things one does."

Meanwhile I'm thinking, "Right the woman's idea of outdoorsy is to put on her Miu Miu flats and sit outside by the pool."

My idea of camping is Napa with lots of wine tasting, followed by dinner at Auberge du Soleil!

Oh, she will forget about this in a New York minute when she gets back on the computer and sees something else. At least let's hope so!

Happy Camping!!

Alexandra

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