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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Why I took up Karate!

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Thursday, October 20, 2011

Why I took up Karate!

Well, I watched Pan Am on Sunday and had many flash backs. Fortunately I never had any fights between cockpit members. But I did have a flash back to a particular flight.

The plane was totally full front and back. (Airline speak for first class and coach.) I was working the first class galley position (cooking all of the food and more!) and we were as busy as one armed paper hangers! Let's put it this way, we had no time to worry about what was happening in coach.

At one point in the service I noted that the Captain came out of the cockpit with his hat and jacket on and proceeded to disappear into coach. This was pre 9 11 and sometimes they would actually come out of the cockpit during the flight and meet and greet the passengers. People loved that! So it was not a big deal to see him walking about in the cabin.

As I said, we were busy serving our 24 people, soup to nuts so to speak, and frankly the back of the plane could have fallen off and we wouldn't have noticed.

But getting back to my flash back, the Captain returned to the cockpit and didn't say a word to us. We finished the service and it was finally time to catch a bite to eat ourselves and relax until the next time a call bell went off for an "I need", as in a blanket, pillow, aspirin, water, another cocktail, etc. etc. etc.

All was going smoothly or so I thought. Guess again! Oh no, it hadn't been all warm and fuzzy back in coach. Unknown to us in first class there had been an altercation between two men in coach. About what? I don't know I wasn't there! But evidently one threatened to punch the other one out and that was why the Captain went back there to inform both of them that he would land the plane and have them arrested if the flight attendants told him they were starting back up again!

As I said, I knew nothing about this!!

So approximately 20 minutes later I'm by myself in first class because my flying partner had said she was going to go to coach for awhile and talk with a friend. Now the plot thickens!

I'm walking down the one aisle in first class checking on my passengers when a man walks into first class and proceeds down the other aisle. My airline had a policy that first class was for only first class and we were to politely ask people to use the coach facilities. You get my drift here, the lavs! But he was to fast for me and disappeared behind a bulkhead that obscured my vision of him before I could discreetly say anything.

I proceed back up to the galley area and what do I hear. KNOCKING! He is knocking on the cockpit door! Since he somehow knocked as we Flight Attendants do, the Flight Engineer thought it was one of us and proceeds to unlock the door. At which point this passenger now is opening the door and on the verge of walking into the cockpit.

All of a sudden I turn into Kung Fu fighter. My leg goes up in the air and I kick the door shut with a swift and powerful thrust! At this time a male flight attendant happens to come around the corner and I yell, "Grab him; he's trying to get into the cockpit."

The male flight attendant grabs this man by his collar and the back of his pants and pulls him backwards.

At this point the cockpit door opens up and the Captain comes out of there like he had been hit with an electric cattle prod!

He grabs this guy, turns him around, grabs his arm and twists it up behind his back and starts marching him down the aisle! Needless to say I didn't follow but the male flight attendant was hot behind him!

I have to admit I was standing there feeling slightly weak at the knees and wondering what was going on. It was like an out of body experience. Thank God that the male flight attendant came at just the right time for I don't know if this guy would have hit me?

Well, the Captain returns a few minutes later and goes back into the cockpit. Now I'm wondering what in heaven's name is really going on here? So it is time for me to go into the cockpit.

I don't knock on the door with our supposedly secret knock. Obviously that wasn't going to work anymore so I called the cockpit and asked to be admitted.

Moi: (In the cockpit now.) "Well, that was interesting. May I ask why that man wanted to say hello?" I was trying to use a little levity to break the tension in the air but it didn't seem to be working.

Captain: "I've informed the tower to have the police meet the flight and that son of bitch is going to be arrested."

I'm now thinking to myself, "I guess I'll find out later what happened. It doesn't seem like he wants to talk about this."

Captain: "Oh and Alexandra thank you for thinking so quickly. I heard you yelling to someone get him and then the door slammed shut. You are all right?"

Moi: "Oh I'm fine. I think I'm going to take up karate though. Would any of you like a cup of coffee?"

Never a dull moment at 33,000 feet in the air! More good times!


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