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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Dishing With Ralph

Category: Mummy's Adventures  |  Permalink

Published: Monday, October 3, 2011

 

Dishing With Ralph

Mummy is back in Chicago for a week and I thought I would join her. Nothing says Holiday as a stint with my mother! So here goes.

We are immediately out hither and yawn for drinks, parties, and dinners. But one unusual and absolutely flaunt fabulous charitable fundraiser came late Tuesday. It would seem a neighbor of Mummy's has invited us to the Ralph Lauren shop, (as Mummy calls it) to meet the grand designer, and see the unveiling of the "Ricky" bag. Rickie bag, I think that sounds rather cute, don't you?

Hmmmm. Sounds like a photo-op, n'est ce pas?

So off we go to the largest Ralph Lauren store, in the world, on Michigan Avenue. And it was gorgeous! Four dreamy floors of only the finest in men's, women's and home fashions.

Zipping up to the third floor, where the "Rickie" bag was unveiled, I noticed Mummy starting to giggle to herself as we approached the object of a lot of women's desires that evening, the "Ricky" bag.

Moi: Shhh. "What's so funny?"

Mummy: "Cate darling, I have one just like it!"

Moi: "Mummy, you are kidding! They are just bringing this bag out now. Where did you get it?"

Mummy: "No, no, I bought my bag in Rio in the 70's. I am sure it was at H. Sterns, the international jeweler. At the time, I was concerned that it might be an endangered species and confiscated by customs! Thank goodness that was not the case. Nothing can ruin a holiday faster than having to deal with unpleasant custom officials!"

"Look, here it is," as she pulls out a photo of herself and my father. Sure enough, there was a large Crocodile bag in a seemingly similar style and hue.

Moi: "Oh I do remember that bag now. I always loved it so."

I turn my head for a second only to then realize that Mummy is now making her way to Mr. L and I better be hot on her trail. Oops, seems that she is knocking other fancy types out of our way.

Mummy: "Oh, Mr. Lauren. It is such a pleasure to see something of such beauty and only $18,000.00. Wow!"

Mr. L: "Why thank you Miss." (Mummy loves to be called Miss and the eyelashes start to flutter as she fingers the bag made only of the "belly" of the croocodile!)

Mummy: "Mr. Lauren, may I ask you the difference between Crocodile and say Alligator or Caiman?" (Little did he know this was simply a ploy to engage him in conversation?)

Unfortunately, Mr. Lauren was surrounded by many needy Chicago socialites now all clamoring for his attention. Frankly a little to much flaunt fawning going on!

Mr. L: "Well, my artisans will be glad to explain that to you." Meanwhile handing Mummy off to a young group of handsome men who had no idea to whom they would be talking. Little did they know that Mummy had a PhD on this topic and could spot a fake a mile off! I had heard her say many times under her breath, "Really, embossed cow hide not even Caiman!"

At this time she proceeds to give all in earshot a lesson on purchasing proper Crocodile items and not being fooled by cheaper substitutions.

I made a note to myself to remember all of this information for The School of Flaunt Handbook! Now you students will know too. Ah yes Alexandra and I are getting so excited because The School of Flaunt Handbook will be in a store and on the Amazon website soon!

Oh my, what now? It seems that Mummy and RL have struck up a conversation and are leaving together. Yes, I have been left behind again. Well, the story will be good when she gets home! Now, where is the RL restaurant? I'm flaunt famished for a delicious little morsel and wish Alexandra was here. She is always ready for dinner out!

Xoxo,

Cate

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