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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Pan Am

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Wednesday, September 28, 2011



A true story!

O.K., O.K., O.K., I promised that I would give you my thoughts about the new TV show Pan Am. So here goes.

I prop myself up with my pillows on the couch and a glass of wine in hand. Settling back to see what this show would really be about. Well, some of it was realistic but then other parts not so much!

First of all, one of the female characters was a purser. No way in the 60's, for men were only allowed to be pursers and women were only able to be stewardesses or "stews" as they were called then. And of course the pilots were all men. All in all though these were small distractions but good for this generation to know the sexual discrimination that went on years ago.

Ah yes there was the weight check, girdle check, uniform check, make up check, white gloves check and hat check! All in front of the beloved Grooming Supervisor! Yes it was all true! Did pilots or gate agents have these? No! And they wonder why flight attendants became unionized. Just saying.

Loved the part where one of the passengers had his briefcase in his lap for take-off! My husband looked at me and laughed over that one. And then there was the stew in the galley swigging down some champagne because her lover got on the plane with his wife and son! At least we were more circumspect and drank it out of a paper cup! Well, do you eat your caviar with a coca cola on ice? Let's get serious!

But now I'm sure that you really want to know some juicy true stories about flying. So here goes because this was a flash back that I had when I was watching the show.

I was the lead flight attendant in first class. Greeting the passengers as they came on, getting them settled, and then taking their meal orders. After we were airborne and serving drinks I started to talk with a passenger in 1C (first row, aisle seat). He looked to be approximately 45 and was traveling with a young blonde maybe 23 who was obviously not acting like she was his daughter. You know the hand holding and those big baby blues batting their eyelashes at him.

I told him that he looked like Joe Montana and then we started to talk about sports and went on to Indy racing where we each had friends who were very involved in the sport of racing. End of story. Not! Oh this gets so good!!

Now we all would bid for our flights each month and usually would fly different routes from month to month for a variety of reasons. What do you think are the odds that you would have the same flight attendant on your flight two months later going to an entirely different destination? Maybe a million in one shot?

O.K. now we are getting to the good part - I'm standing at the forward door doing my usual Greet and Meet, Hello, how are you today etc., when who appears on the jet way, at the door, but Mr. Joe Montana look alike. I immediately recognize him since we had had a long conversation about racing and the fact that he did look like Joe Montana.

"Well, Hi. Nice to see you again," I say. His eyes looked like they had gotten two sizes larger, you know the deer in headlight stare, but he doesn't skip a beat. How he remembered my name is beyond me but under pressure people can do extraordinary things and he says, "Alexandra, I want you to meet my wife." And at this point he turns to the woman behind him and says, "This is Alexandra I just flew with her."

Oh what a delicious moment in time. The wife was not blond, was not 23, but probably 40 and brunette. I smiled at her and said. "Oh it is lovely to meet you." I'm chuckling inside and wondering what his blood pressure reading was about that time? Now I was just having so much fun in the moment. Oh what are the odds?

As soon as I had a break I pulled my flying partner aside and told her what was going on. She loved it too! Caught red handed! Should I blow his cover? No let him stew in his own juices. I'm sure fear was pulsing through his veins. Is she going to let on to my wife? Will she ask about my "blonde" daughter?

Ah it was so much fun - watching him squirm. Just like a rat in a trap! As his wife meanwhile sat there and enjoyed her cocktail and meal and I fawned over her.

I know you are all asking the question now, did I finally blow his story wide open? No! I felt sure his wife probably would find out on her own. They always do. But as he deplaned he said, "Thank you." And we know why!

So my darlings if you are planning on bringing your Mistress with you on a business trip or just taking a fling with her (we know following your heart) it would probably be a good idea to go on separate flights. Just a suggestion ;-)

I should have bought a lottery ticket that day! Odds!!


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