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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Cate’s Recovery After Surgery

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Wednesday, September 7, 2011

"Cate's Recovery After Surgery"


Where is House?

Today I am much better. I had a minor surgery yesterday. What followed was interesting. I felt like I was a patient on the TV show House, as all the brainiacs ran around the hospital recovery room trying to figure out my low O2 levels

My Day in Recovery for 6 hours:

Child Dr: (really looked 12) "Do you have Asthma?"

Me: (under O2 mask) "NO!"

Indian Child Dr: "Let's get, X-Ray!" Later child Dr., "It's clear !"

Asian Child Dr: "No it's not."

Me: "I haven't eaten since 7 last night. Could I have a croissant from Au Bon Pan downstairs?"

Italian Child Dr: "Now use a Nebulizer. NO CROISSANT! Have a cracker -   graham or saltine?"

Slightly older 15 yr old Dr: "Nothing is working; you will have to spend the night!"

Me: Mumbling now  "Where is HOUSE?"

Indian Dr: "Oh, we get that a lot. You mean Dr. Home, right?"

Me: "No I mean Dr. House, who is Dr. Home?

Child Asian Dr: "Dr. Home is our lead diagnostician. We are working under him."

Me: "Well, bring on House. I mean Dr. Home."

Enter Dr. Home with a long line of staff residents trailing after him.

Dr. Home: "I understand you wanted to see me?"

Me: "Yes, these Drs. are at a loss for my low O2 levels. I just want to go home. And I desperately need something to eat!"

Dr. Home: "Well, we'll see about that. Start those I-V's," he rambles off something about meds here and I lost count of the orders since a croissant was floating in front of my eyes!

Meanwhile a nurse enters the room.

Nurse: "Dr. Home, shouldn't we check her finger nails?"

Dr. Home: "Well of course. Haven't any of your checked her finger nails?"

Sheepish looks now among all of the child doctors for their dressing down! Then I hear from child Indian and Asian Doctors in unison , "Oh, yes Dr. Home. We checked her nails."

Nurse: "Doctor this patient has a no-chip manicure. I think that might be the problem that her no-chip manicure is causing the low levels to read out. She is probably just fine. Let's use her big toe for the next test. I'll remove the polish."

Dr. Home is looking at all of the child Doctors now like they are idiots! And I'm wondering who is running this asylum. Is this how people felt in One Who Flew Over the Coo Coo's Nest?" God where is Dr. House when you need him?!

Asian Dr: "Her levels are normal now!!"

Me: "Oh, thank you so much Nurse! What is your name?

Nurse: "Karen House."

I rest my case. Can I leave this asylum now?


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