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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Shoes!

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Shoes!

Or

"Lorelei"

The phone rings and I see on my caller ID that it is LB calling.

Moi: "Good Morning. No excuse me; it is afternoon, isn't it? Yes it is 12:40. Anyway, how are you?"

LB: "Well, it has to be breakfast, brunch or lunch somewhere? I'm still in my Leopard print nightgown."

Moi: Laughing  "And why pray tell are you still in your night gown at 12:40 in the afternoon?"

LB: "Well, you aren't going to believe this but I've been cleaning out my closet."

Moi: "Which leads me to my next question? Why?"

LB: "Well, I took off my sleep mask this morning, got out of bed and went into my closet to get a pair of slippers to wear and I couldn't decide on what pair."

Moi: "Oh, poor baby!"

LB: "Now don't be catty."

Moi: "I wasn't being catty, I just had to give you a little bit of a hard time. How many pairs of slippers can one person have?"

LB: "Well, you have a lot of room to talk. And how many pairs of shoes do you have in your closet?"

Moi: "We aren't talking about my closet now. Don't try to change the topic. How many pairs of slippers do you have?"

LB: "Ten."

Moi: "Ten! What in heaven's name do you need with ten pairs of slippers?"

LB: "Well, they are kind of like Lorelei calling to me. I see a pair and I think those would look nice with this negligee or robe. And then there is the pair that is a perfect for this and that. You know, they might have a small heel or have a little mink trim on them, or something just says buy me!"

Moi: "So what do slippers have to do with cleaning out your closet?"

LB: "Well, I realized that this closet situation was ridiculous and I needed to get rid of some things."

Small aside here: Her closet is the size of Grand Central station - so cleaning it out is not for the faint of heart!

Moi: "Well, I hope that you are up for the challenge?"

LB: "Oh meow to you too! Will someone get her a bowl of milk?  I've got a brilliant idea! Let's have a contest of who can donate the most clothes."

Moi: "You want to have a what?"

LB: "Yes, I bet I can get rid of more clothes than you can. And how about your shoes?"

Moi: "Hey, my shoes are like my children! Once they are purchased they are mine for life!"

LB: "And how many pairs do you have?"

Moi: "None of your business! Go play in your closet and call me back when you need a break." Click.

How many shoes do I have? I'm not saying! Buts let's put it this way, they have to be my favorite thing in the world. ;-) Maybe I'll go count them after all. Just curious.

Fifty one, fifty two, fifty three  OMG there are still more! Fifty four, fifty five -and still counting!

Now don't worry my little darlings, Mommy still loves you and you will never be given away. I know you will come back in style someday. God I love my shoes! One hundred, one hundred one,

And how many pairs do you have?

Alexandra

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