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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Take Out from Swifty's

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Thursday, June 9, 2011

Mummy wants take out from Swifty's?

It has barely been a week since our wild night at Mummy's New York Hospital! Most of you will remember that I got a late night call declaring Mummy as "missing"! Turns out she was in NYC to have some "work done" before the Royal Wedding. She was caught with Boodles smuggled in by her BFF, Evelyn.

Now Mummy and Evelyn are ensconced in The Colony Club for recuperation and healing. This means Room Service and Cocktails in their language. They have the

Staff at The Colony eating out of their hands! Turns out the maid that took care of Mummy after her first NYC facelift is now head of Housekeeping and keeps in touch with Madame Mummy! Small aside, remind me to tell you of the game I started as a child entitled: "Madame Mummy"! But I digress.

So the phone call came early on Tuesday. It would seem that Mummy and Evelyn wanted take away from Swifty's.

Mummy: Cate darling, how are you? Good I hope. Now listen, Evelyn and I want one of those wonderful lunches from Swifty's can you bring it over? We are starving!!

Me: Mummy, how are you? I had not heard a word and the hospital would not allow me to visit. What was that about?

Mummy: Oh, nothing, just a misunderstanding with the switchboard. Anyway, I really did not want visitors, with my bruising and all. Now what about lunch? Can you get us a menu?

Me: Why was your mobile switched off? I left many messages.

Mummy: Cate. I cannot to surgery and technology at the same time. Menu, please?

Me: Well, I will go online and check. Hold on. I rattle on the choices.

Mummy: I think I have some Slaw Salad and Scallops. Evelyn wants Fried Chicken and Bananas Foster.

Me: Bananas Foster may not travel well. OK. I will make the call.

Mummy: Thank you Darling. I knew you could make this work.

I order the food and the waiter is stifling laughter as I tell him I need to transport to the Colony Club for my mother. The entire staff came out to view who was taking food out of Swifty's as the entire point is to See and Be Seen at the restaurant at Lexington and 72nd. This is quite a doyenne of the Silver Haired Socialites.

I deliver the dripping packages, thankfully encased in plastic to The Colony Club. I am informed that they FROWN on food deliveries by the Front Doors and am scurried to the delivery area off the back. How embarrassing. Note to self: Do not go to bridge lessons at same club for a few weeks and hope they do not remember me as Mummy's Rule Breaking Member.

I knock on Mummy's door and am greeted by Evelyn! She hugs me and then I notice she is black and blue all over!

Me: Evelyn, what happened to your FACE?

Evelyn: Oh, Cate, your Mummy insisted I join her and have my eyes done! Won't I look smart? Your mother is so generous. We are so excited for the swelling to go down.

Mummy: OK, OK where is lunch? I am starving.

And they set to it, gobbling down the wonders of Swifty's. I sat visiting with these two elderly ladies who enjoy life to the fullest. Not afraid to show their puffy black and blue faces, they start to plan dinner out.

Mummy: How about 21?

Me; Oh, Mummy they will love you! Wishing I could be a fly on the wall!

Cate Clarke

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