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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Gardening, it never ends!

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Gardening It Never Stops!


I love my Disneyland Roses!

Ah yes, just when you think the yard is under control, then there is a late frost, the bugs start to come out on your roses, a tornado rolls through or moles start chewing on the roots of your plants. Oh you silly little fool to think that your yard is ever under control. Gardening is never and I repeat never finished. I'm feeling like I need a break right now and a few Advil just thinking about all of this!

But I digress, you forge ahead knowing in the back of your mind that either this year or next it will all be finished and looking spectacular. You will offer your home to the local Garden Club for their fund raiser. You picture yourself wandering through the garden admiring your roses. Possibly a tea party or something else very civilized. A little "cracking" of the croquet balls possibly?

Proud as a peacock of your grounds, wanting to flaunt your yard to the neighborhood and knowing that the money raised from a Garden Tour will go for scholarships and other good causes, you jump into the SUV with tarps loaded in the back. Off to your favorite nursery to get those early pots of gorgeous perennials, annuals, roses and more.

As you arrive at the nursery, with your list in hand for what you need, you are on a little emotional high! You walk into the nursery and OMG rushes through your mind! Am I choosing correctly, why didn't I have the landscaper over to consult? Why did I ever think I could do this myself? But then with renewed enthusiasm you place your hand on the trolley and start pulling it through the aisles.

Now this is where it gets tricky. If you have done your homework and have a plan all will go well. No plan, trust me your yard will start to look like a Hodge-podge of poor taste! You all know what I'm talking about; bush here, a geranium there. Pathetic! Absolutely no imagination or plan put into the yard. So if you have no taste and we don't want to be harsh here, get the landscaper back in to help. Or at the very least please purchase some landscaping books. We don't mind if you copy some of the ideas you see there. Everyone will think you quite the clever one, no need to tell them otherwise.

I will leave with you one last thought. The good news is that all landscaping is "portable." I can hear you now. What is she saying? I'm saying, anything can be moved! Small, big, it makes no difference.

For instance I'm in the process of moving rose bushes now. I had some winter damage done to some other plantings and had three Disneyland roses that had been removed and placed in pots last year. Not knowing exactly what to do with them or where they might go, they were just sitting waiting for good fortune to come their way. Presto, I ordered three more Disneyland roses and now they all will have a wonderful new home at my front gate.

Note Students: Remember plant in masses or in groups of 1, 3 or 5 etc. Don't ask why, just do it! Now put on list of things to do: purchase a landscaping design book! And never and we repeat never let us see plastic animals, i.e. Pink Flamingoes, Deer, Rabbits etc. peering at us from your front lawn! Ghastly those things. And just as bad the dreaded Gnome! Don't even leave that at your curb for trash pickup. Heaven forbid that the neighbors see a little painted Gnome sitting out by the drive!

Well, my Disneyland roses beckon as they are waiting to be placed in their new home. Must get back to work but please do check them out, they are gorgeous. I'm sure any good nursery can order these for you. Tell them the School of Flaunt recommends them. Must get busy now!

Moi: "Honey do you have the tractor ready? I want to move a few things."

Husband: "You need the tractor? What are you planning on moving? Trees?"

I hear him laughing.

Moi: "You mean we can also move some trees with that tractor?"

Husband: "We need to talk!"

Moi: I'm thinking; "Surely he knows I was jesting? But I would like to move a few trees. Where are the Yellow pages? "

Happy Gardening!


P.S. I will have to tell you all about my Rattle snake leg protectors and some Rattle snake stories in a later blog. Never a dull moment here on Hummingbird Hill.

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