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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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The Royal Wedding by Cate Clarke

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Royal Wedding by Cate Clarke

The frenzy of the Wedding Week was palpable. We were staying with my Aunt Emily in London to be near the festivities. With dinners out and parties all week, Mummy thought Indian Takeaway would be wonderful for a bite Thursday evening. That was it! We stayed in and enjoyed some Chicken Tikka Masala, Shrimp Briyani, Saag Paneer with Basmati Rice.

Then off to bed early with our Wedding Finery laid out for our Big Fun at Westminster Abbey!

It started with Mummy, who became violently ill around 11pm, Daddy followed. We were so worried we called Ambulance Dispatch to take them to Hospital. It was in Hospital that my husband and I finally succumbed to the pain and vomiting.

Diagnosis: Food Poisoning!

Gone were our Wedding Dreams of Westminster, The Queen's Luncheon and Late Night Party with Harry! Gone in an instant! What's more, later on Friday morning, all the Hospital staff were watching the Wedding and we had a devil of a time getting help in our Hospital rooms! Mummy and Daddy at their ages were so sick that they were put on IV's for dehydration. Mummy was mumbling something about "HRH told me never to eat Shellfish!" Mr. C & I were still so sick in the morning that it would not have been conceivable to even think of going. Picture us gagging & throwing up as one of the Royals walked by us in the church. We would never be invited to anything again!

Our Phillip Treacy Hats? They were sitting waiting for our heads back at Aunt Emily's!

The clothes, the morning suits? Also waiting.

Where and how was Aunt Emily? As she was on the 17 Day Diet, she was just fine. No Indian food is allowed. She left Hospital when she knew we would live around 3am. I am sure she is sleeping as she had her cheeky butler, Dieter, record the event. Frankly, I have my own suspicions about Dieter's involvement!

Now it is Sunday, we are back at Aunt Emily's watching the recorded event, lamenting on all we missed! Mummy is going over the footage with a magnifying glass, looking for a certain Indian Restaurateur and his family as she is convinced they poisoned us and took our places in the Abbey!! This is a long shot, but I am helping her search the crowd!

My father is keeping a close eye on cheeky old Dieter.

On a good note, Mummy will not be out done. She is planning a Huge Party at her Cotswold's Estate to celebrate the wedding. Of course she is hoping the Queen and some of the Royal Family will attend! Well, if I know my Mother, this too, will be arranged!

Alas, ours is not to reason why, ours is just to do or die. I did want to die on Friday.

Cate Cadbury-Clarke

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