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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Why do I have to be a Mechanical Engineer?

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Why do I have to be a Mechanical Engineer?

Have you bought a new appliance lately? So exciting to open that box and start removing the packing papers and plastic wrap. I know you can see it right now? Bright and shiny. It has never been used. Oh so nice! Yes, at first that is your mood and then quickly it starts to abate. Why? You get out the instructions.

As you unfold the owner's guide, what do you see? FEATURES! All I had purchased was a new iron. Not a big deal, right? Well, there is a list of 15 "features." So, you start to compare your iron with the picture. O.K. it is making some sense. But noooo, before you can use it there are other instructions on first time use, using your iron, the anti-drip feature, and heaven forbid you have a calcium build up, so there are anti-calcium instructions. But we aren't through yet! You have the electronic multi position auto off, self cleaning, useful tips, storage and care and finally the "always remember" section. My mind is spinning now. All I want to do is use my iron!

Now, picture my Anichini napkins, those wonderful 24" by 24" ones, drying on low for a damp dry. Remember, this is how you must dry them so you can press them on a low heat. But then I digress!

I'm still perusing the instructions. Oh Lord how do I use a dry heat on low, versus the steam for this iron? Give me strength. Finally I think I have mastered the instructions and go to plug the iron in. As I'm waiting for it to heat up I have a flash back.

Now this might seem a little off topic but this explains why I do my own linens. I will not trust a dry cleaner with them. Oh yes, they can fluff up those sleeves for you silk blouse with tissue paper and take requests for how you want your slacks ironed, crease or no crease. But then there are those experiences that make you want to hurt someone.

I had dropped off 6 new golf shirts that had each only been worn once. The secret to having your golf shirts always look like new is to have them dry cleaned. Yes, for the first season have them dry cleaned. They will look great and so will you. Anyway, what do they do? You guessed it! Some idiot washed them on hot and then ironed them. Now remember I had requested that they be dry cleaned when I dropped them off.

I pick up my cleaning a few days later. Golf the following day, ah, one of my new shirts freshly dry cleaned will do nicely. I put it on and it is now something that a "wee" person would fit into! I was to say "ticked off" to put it mildly. That afternoon I was off to the cleaners with my shirts in hand, still on the hangars. Of course they have "all" been totally ruined and I couldn't wear them! Do I get the right response to this problem. NO!

Now remember this old adage, do not bother to have a conversation with someone who cannot really rectify the situation. I ask the clerk to have the manager call me when he returned. You guessed it! The manager did not like the idea of paying to replace my new shirts that they had ruined. In fact, it didn't seem to faze him at all that they had just ruined over $300 in golf shirts. It was my problem not theirs.

Can you see the steam coming out of my ears? I didn't want to do this but they left me no other choice. It was the husband card! I kindly informed the manager that my husband's business gave their business approximately $20,000 worth of cleaning a year. And I was sure he would want to take this into consideration! Viola, a miracle of inspiration overcomes him! He immediately replies, "We will write you a check to replace those shirts."

So what does this have to do with my Anichini napkins! Do them yourself. Don't let your cleaners ruin $40 napkins, unless you can pull the husband card out of your bag of tricks!

Now how do I turn on this iron, my napkins are getting to dry. Help! I'm not a mechanical engineer!

Alexandra

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