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Mummy is coming for Thanksgiving!!!

Category: Mummy's Adventures  |  Permalink

Published: Monday, November 22, 2010

Mummy is coming for Thanksgiving!!!

I just got off the telly with Mumsy. She has totally hijacked the American Holiday of Thanksgiving and was notifying me of her eminent arrival stateside for Turkey and all the Trimmings! Yikes, call the caterers! You guessed it, the best are busy and I cannot bear to go to the local market for one of their $59.00 Thanksgiving Dinners for 8. I cannot get past those cheap aluminum containers. Which to select, cranberries or coleslaw? Not SOF.

So it will be up to me to create an American Thanksgiving just like in the magazines!

First call is to Alexandra, she is American by birth and can cook. She gives me a few pointers including how to shop for a good "Bird". Who knew? Fresh or Frozen?

Alexandra: You only want a Fresh Bird. Order immediately from a reputable Butcher.

Moi: I don't have a Reputable Butcher.

Alexandra: Dahling, call a friend and get an introduction.

Moi: Is this like joining a Country Club, seems tricky?

Alexandra: Well, this is not the time or place to mince words. Call a good local contact or gourmet shop and find access to a Fresh Bird. Then you will need the appropriate pans, recipes for gravy, stuffing, oh, and you must make the American Green Bean Casserole. Mums will love that as will all the kids.

Moi: What kids?

Alexandra: You must invite others to your dinner including young children and give them Turkey Crafts to make. Just like Martha.

Moi: Martha Who? Must she come too?

Alexandra: You are impossible in the kitchen, Cate. Call your club for reservations! I have to run Darling I have my own set of problems. My mother and father and all of the relatives start to arrive on Monday. By Wednesday this place will be totally full and they will all be eating their way through my home. Don't worry you will be fine. I love you! Now go call the club.

Dial Tone

Moi: Brilliant, the Club will have to take us! I say to the air in my state of the art kitchen! Stove and ovens eyeing me back, gloomily.

At this time, my husband enters into the fray.

Husband: You are going to make a Thanksgiving turkey dinner? I am so proud of you, Cate!! I must call my mother and dad and have them join us! Where is my cell? And call Fiona at Oxford, have her jump on the plane with your Mum.

What family fun! Sure beats going out for dinner. And think of using our own appliances?! Fantastic!

Moi: Depression is brewing as I stalk into the Library for a veddy private call.

Operator: Fancy Chmancy Country Club, how can we be of service?

Moi: I need a Turkey dinner here at home next Thursday, Thanksgiving Day.

I am desperate.

Operator: I will transfer you to Chef Louie. Just one moment, Please..

Chef Louis: Chef Louie, zee greatest Chef in zee County, at your service.

Moi: Dear Chef Louie, can you secretly import a Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner to my home next week? I could stage you out in the Pool House.

Chef Louie: Who is dees? (I might add that Chef Louie is not French, so what's with the accent?)

Moi: So sorry Chef Louie, this is Cate Clarke of the School of Flaunt.

Chef Louie: Ah, dear Mrs. Clarke. Of course we can be of service and I suppose you need to take credit for dees dinner? Flaunt Fab, as you would say, ne'est pas?

Moi: How did you know, Chef Louie? (Or am I speaking with Hercule Poirot?)

Chef Louie: You are the 300th member to call for zee same reason, my dear Mrs. Clarke. Do no worry. My staff will be in zee Pool House and make magic of your Thanksgiving Celebration. But eet will cost you!!!

Moi: Oh, Chef Louie, you have saved my life. Cost is of no concern. My mummy and in-laws are coming. I must make a good impression, ne'est pas?

Chef Louie: Flaunt Family dinners always make Chef Louie $$! I only accept cash, by the way. I could have used BTW, which my daughter, Fiona is educating me on texting short cuts. (Just had to throw that in.)

So the stage is set. Williams and Sonoma Pans are procured and waiting poolside for the ingredients and trimmings to be inserted. Also a new larger Wolf Range has been installed in the Pool House for convenience. (As an aside, I rationalized that I needed a larger oven in the Pool House, not for poolside canapés, but for subsequent Chef Louie Catering Venues.) I have mentioned to the family that I will have some extra Staff to help serve and clean up to explain the strangers running back and forth on the terrace. Chef Louie has been paid in full with a nice tip! I could have gone to Richard Branson's Necker Island for the same price!

Now, do I need a haircut? Oh, what to wear? Hmmm, something Hostessy.

Telephone is ringing.

Mummy: Cate dear, sorry to ring up. Need to cancel my Thanksgiving trip. Better weekend offer in Milano. You remember Bumby and Lila? Yes, that's the new wife. We are jetting there for a weekend of shopping. Thanksgiving might just have to wait until next year! (My own mother is throwing me over for a Flaunt Jaunt!) Oh, and Fiona says she hates Turkey, she is now a Vegan, whatever that is? Ta, Ta. Dahling!

Dial Tone.

I am saying some very unthankful things right about now. My ovens and stoves are laughing!


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