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The School of Flaunt
Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!
What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More
Are You Joking?
Grammy Awards as always sensational for knock out performances and please kill us now for outlandish dressing. Or in some cases just plain ugly!
So let us begin on our critique of the 2017 Grammy winners for dressing and more often than not offenders on how not to. We will start with something positive. Then it turns quickly into a rocky road and we aren't talking a delicious scoop of ice cream.
Kelsea Ballerini was nominated for best new artist and was wearing Ines di Santa. Not only was she gorgeous, elegant, ethereal, yes we are gushing here because she was totally flaunt fabulous. We wish her all the success in the world and hope that she will continue to look so stunning!
O.K. so now that we have the only stunning moment let's look at the shall we say, NON stunners!
There was Demi Lovato wearing Julien Macdonald who easily could be described as a photo shopped Kim Kardashian. Really Demi? You've got the money now try something different than the same old look as Kim always pulls out.
Then we have Solange in this gold foil paper looking gown by Gucci that looked like it should be cut into pieces and you would use it to wrap up Valentine's Day candy boxes in. Wonder if everyone heard a ripping sound when she sat down in it? Hope Jay Z is being a good boy. Watch out for those elevator Kicks!
Moving on Jacqueline Van Bierk was wearing who knows what? No one would surely fess up to designing this. A dress with old CD's covering it, especially in strategic areas if you know what we mean. Ridiculous but there are worse dresses we will cover.
Even sillier was Girl Crush covered in plastic balls that looked like she had just gotten out of a Mickey D's romper room in one of their restaurants. Obviously she must have doused her skirt in glue and then rolled around in plastic balls. Or some poor lackey for that designer had to glue all of those on a skirt. We can see knock offs in Walmart not too far behind in the children's clothing area.
Now here was a true classic. Joy Villa looking ridiculous trying to imitate the Statue of Liberty. White cape with a blue dress adorned with huge gold lettering saying Make America Great Again. How much did you get paid by the designer to wear that. FLOTUS, Melania must be having nightmares now, we heard her screaming in a dream, "No I say, I won't wear that!" Politics aside, we know she wouldn't because she always does look glamorous.
Let's follow up with Halsey. Ah yes, who doesn't want to be seen in blue PJ's. Bet that tape all over her breasts to hold the material down to cover them up felt great when they pulled it off. Please PJ's are for your own home not a television audience of millions.
Want to look like a cross of a tween and grandma. Well, look no further. Santigold found something in her grandmother's closet. She then asked a designer to do something with it. Picture a Peter Pan collar, puffy sleeves at the shoulders, yards and yards of pleated material for a skirt and just so you wouldn't get bored a huge, hideous applique of a three headed snake right there on her chest. Add a gross pair of platform black dull shoes and you have what we like to describe as a total "flaunt flop". Had to be seen to be believed!
And cute Tori Kelly looked so sweet but it is the Grammys dear. A green ruffled dress that only needed her to hold castanets, wear a turban with fruit on it and she could star in a 1940's movie. Tori this dress would be very cute in the summertime for cocktails by the pool not a star studded evening.
Then there was Rihanna in Armani Prive'. She looked like she was coming out of a black volcano of material. A massive skirt which was way to overpowering for her. Then finish it off with a halter top in orange that is obviously designed to show off her tattoos underneath her breasts. Your eyes couldn't help it and they went immediately to that. Ours were blinking and the brain was saying, "Ouch is this an eye test. What are we looking at?" We will add that Rihanna herself looked gorgeous.
Now we want to address Adele. Congratulations on all of your awards last night and for being such a gracious winner and speaking so highly of Beyoncé. But we were not thrilled with your choice of Givenchy. Way too much olive. Only can be described as beautiful material but other than that drab! Jar of olives seems to jump to mind.
Lady Gaga, no body shaming here. You were total Rock and Roll! Certainly not for the meek. We do not suggest this for a look though. Only Gaga could pull it off.
Lastly, Paris Jackson. Oh sweetie we do care what happens to you and know you have been having a rocky start but who is your stylist? That Balmain gown was way to matronly for you and the colors were just blah. You are turning into a strikingly beautiful woman and we wish you only the best. Get a new stylist and now!
And to end on a positive note. Katherine McPhee! You always look flaunt fabulous! Thank you and keep up the great dressing.
Your Divas of Good Taste,
Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke
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