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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Stop the Holiday Madness

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Friday, December 16, 2016

 

 

 

Stop the Holiday Madness

 

Ah, the smell of fresh greens, mulled wine and homemade cookies is in the air. But wait there is also the smell of too many cinnamon flavored candles, women wearing to much perfume and yes Grandmother's favorite Holiday sauerkraut recipe slowly cooking for hours on the stove top.  STOP THE MADNESS, yes you can overdo for the holidays.   Heed our advice below and your holiday season should not turn into a nightmare.

 

 

1.      Those Horrible Holiday Sweaters that make you look like a Balloon in the Macy's Parade! We beg you, ugly Sweater parties are getting a bit old, don't you think?

2.      Decorating every room in the house, including your bedroom! Come on people, waking up to a tree in your Bedroom or Master Bath only signifies that you need to "Get a Life!" A Santa Face toilet cover can only be described as Ghastly! If you have the matching toilet paper roll too get rid of both. 

3.      Thinking you need to give the exact number of gifts to every family member, including pets! Cousin Billy doesn't need to have a gift just because you are giving to his mother. 

4.      Decorating your yard with Holiday Gnomes, remember we said "No plastic in your yard or home! While we are on the subject, only use one color of lights. Unify the look. Done.

5.      Too many Party Stops in one night. One cannot drink and drive about! Max out at 2 events and Uber Home. Please stay long enough to enjoy what the host and hostess have gone to the trouble of creating. Don't leave early if dinner is provided! Bad form, that one.

6.      Putting out your back to get the "perfect" Frontgate Tree up from the basement! Here Cate has had some experience. Even though her super tree can roll out of the closet, she doesn't have a closet large enough to store it in and roll out on the main floor of her home. So, she pays someone young and strong, in fact two some ones to "roll" the tree up the stairs from the basement. This saves a trip to the Urgent Care and meds.  A win, win!

7.      Lighting every nook and cranny of your outdoor space.  Puhleese, lights are wonderful, but enough is enough. The Jury is still out on this new Cover Your Home in Lights and Spots. And the dreaded Laser lights can be a bit unnerving. Don't aim into the sky and blind a Southwest Pilot! Federal offense and jail time is not a good plan. No mani's or pedi's offered in there either.

8.      Dieting of any kind. No one wants to talk to a "loser" while stuffing their face. And please if you are a Vegan you don't need to look down your nose at the meat eaters during the holidays.  Comments like this are strictly off limits in the month of December, Ex: "I don't eat anything had bones in it."  Holier than thou my friend makes your name disappear pronto off the guest list in the future.   Need we say anymore?

9.      Re-gifting. Please donate any unwanted items. Wrapping up last year's Lazy Susan from Aunt Pearl can backfire and cause many hurt feelings.

10.   And stop with giving the proverbial pair of "Holiday "socks.   Surely you can be more inventive than that.

11.   Finally, get enough rest and enjoy your family and friends. No political arguments or religious snipes!

 

Wishing you all a Happy Hanukah and a very Merry Christmas.

 

Your Divas of Good Taste,

Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke

www.schoolofflaunt.com

#holidayparties#holidaycelebrations#Uber#holidaydecorating#vegan

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