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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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Checking in With Mummy Part 1

Category: Mummy's Adventures  |  Permalink

Published: Tuesday, April 17, 2012

 

Checking in With Mummy Part 1

My mother has been very quiet of late and I felt I had to pick up the phone to check in on her. One never knows what she might be up to, so I dialed England.

Ring Ring, Ring Ring, I do love the European Phone rings, don't you?

Mummy: Hellloooooo? Whooo is calling?

(She clearly knows it is me as she has Caller ID on every phone she owns!

Cate: Hi Mummy! It's your only child! How are you?

Mummy: Who?

Cate: Mother, it's Cate.

(I can feel the guilt over the International Line.)

Mummy: Oh, Cate. It has been so long. Where have you been? I miss you so much.

(Why do Mother's do this? Can't they pick up the phone? We are held to the number of times and how often we children call in!)

Cate: I have been right here. I am just calling to check in and say hello. Anything new?

Mummy: Welllllll, you might say that. New, that is. I have left your father!

Cate: WHAT!!!!

Mummy: Yes, I am in London. I am waiting for him to vacate our home and I will go back for the Hunt Season.

Cate: Blubbering - How, what is going on?

Mummy: Your father has refused to go with me to Dubai, so I told him that was the final straw and I packed a bag and left! I intend to go to Dubai with Evelyn. We are having lovely Burkas made right now! Did you know that London has designer Burkas?

Cate: Burkas? Why? Have you forgotten you are an Episcopalian?

Mummy: No dear. We just want to feel the culture. We are booked on United Emirates' for this Saturday! We are staying at that 7 Star Hotel and really looking forward to seeing the city. Your father refused yet again to travel with me so I am off!

Cate: You are leaving Daddy for a Burka Trip to Dubai?

Mummy: Yes, and he can stew in his own juices. Oh, we are bringing in our own Boodles. One cannot get the drink in Dubai. How shall I pack that, dear?

Cate: Well, I would not bring in Boodles in my luggage. And, I would not wear a Burka! Other than that, I am calling Daddy to check in on this. I am not happy! You are going to be the "death" of me, Mother!

To Be Continued oh gawwwd.

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