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The School of Flaunt

Back when "Flying Was Fun" Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke were Flight Attendants with a Major International Carrier. Prior to Private Jets coming into vogue, Alexandra and Cate traveled in the First Class World, meeting and greeting the top celebrities, politicians who would become Presidents, nouveau riche, and yes the occasional Headline Grabbing Criminal in Handcuffs!

What the two ladies viewed and experienced became fodder for the School of Flaunt, so much money, such bad taste and oh those terrible manners. Something had to be done! Hence, The School of Flaunt Handbook was born. Read More

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The Grammys

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Monday, February 13, 2017

 

 

 

Are You Joking?

 

Grammy Awards as always sensational for knock out performances and please kill us now for outlandish dressing. Or in some cases just plain ugly!

So let us begin on our critique of the 2017 Grammy winners for dressing and more often than not offenders on how not to. We will start with something positive. Then it turns quickly into a rocky road and we aren't talking a delicious scoop of ice cream.

Kelsea Ballerini was nominated for best new artist and was wearing Ines di Santa. Not only was she gorgeous, elegant, ethereal, yes we are gushing here because she was totally flaunt fabulous. We wish her all the success in the world and hope that she will continue to look so stunning!

O.K. so now that we have the only stunning moment let's look at the shall we say, NON stunners!

There was Demi Lovato wearing Julien Macdonald who easily could be described as a photo shopped Kim Kardashian. Really Demi? You've got the money now try something different than the same old look as Kim always pulls out.

Then we have Solange in this gold foil paper looking gown by Gucci that looked like it should be cut into pieces and you would use it to wrap up Valentine's Day candy boxes in. Wonder if everyone heard a ripping sound when she sat down in it? Hope Jay Z is being a good boy. Watch out for those elevator Kicks!

Moving on Jacqueline Van Bierk was wearing who knows what? No one would surely fess up to designing this. A dress with old CD's covering it, especially in strategic areas if you know what we mean. Ridiculous but there are worse dresses we will cover.

Even sillier was Girl Crush covered in plastic balls that looked like she had just gotten out of a Mickey D's romper room in one of their restaurants. Obviously she must have doused her skirt in glue and then rolled around in plastic balls. Or some poor lackey for that designer had to glue all of those on a skirt. We can see knock offs in Walmart not too far behind in the children's clothing area.

Now here was a true classic. Joy Villa looking ridiculous trying to imitate the Statue of Liberty. White cape with a blue dress adorned with huge gold lettering saying Make America Great Again. How much did you get paid by the designer to wear that. FLOTUS, Melania must be having nightmares now, we heard her screaming in a dream, "No I say, I won't wear that!" Politics aside, we know she wouldn't because she always does look glamorous.

Let's follow up with Halsey. Ah yes, who doesn't want to be seen in blue PJ's. Bet that tape all over her breasts to hold the material down to cover them up felt great when they pulled it off. Please PJ's are for your own home not a television audience of millions.

Want to look like a cross of a tween and grandma. Well, look no further. Santigold found something in her grandmother's closet. She then asked a designer to do something with it. Picture a Peter Pan collar, puffy sleeves at the shoulders, yards and yards of pleated material for a skirt and just so you wouldn't get bored a huge, hideous applique of a three headed snake right there on her chest. Add a gross pair of platform black dull shoes and you have what we like to describe as a total "flaunt flop". Had to be seen to be believed!

And cute Tori Kelly looked so sweet but it is the Grammys dear. A green ruffled dress that only needed her to hold castanets, wear a turban with fruit on it and she could star in a 1940's movie. Tori this dress would be very cute in the summertime for cocktails by the pool not a star studded evening.

Then there was Rihanna in Armani Prive'. She looked like she was coming out of a black volcano of material. A massive skirt which was way to overpowering for her. Then finish it off with a halter top in orange that is obviously designed to show off her tattoos underneath her breasts. Your eyes couldn't help it and they went immediately to that. Ours were blinking and the brain was saying, "Ouch is this an eye test. What are we looking at?" We will add that Rihanna herself looked gorgeous.

Now we want to address Adele. Congratulations on all of your awards last night and for being such a gracious winner and speaking so highly of Beyoncé. But we were not thrilled with your choice of Givenchy. Way too much olive. Only can be described as beautiful material but other than that drab! Jar of olives seems to jump to mind.

Lady Gaga, no body shaming here. You were total Rock and Roll! Certainly not for the meek. We do not suggest this for a look though. Only Gaga could pull it off.

Lastly, Paris Jackson. Oh sweetie we do care what happens to you and know you have been having a rocky start but who is your stylist? That Balmain gown was way to matronly for you and the colors were just blah. You are turning into a strikingly beautiful woman and we wish you only the best. Get a new stylist and now!

And to end on a positive note. Katherine McPhee! You always look flaunt fabulous! Thank you and keep up the great dressing.

Your Divas of Good Taste,

Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke

#schoolofflaunt #grammies2017 #dresses2017grammies #ladygaga #adele #armani #demilovato #kelseaballerini #solange #halsey #girlcrush #halsey #joyvilla #givenchy #catheinemcphea #parisjackson

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Trust Fund Babies!

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Sunday, February 12, 2017

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, we do recommend this in the School of Flaunt Handbook, a Trust Fund for your four legged babies. Oh, so much information to give to our students of flaunt and so little time, but then we digress. Here is the story: Today we were speaking with a close friend who tells us that she has taken in two Dachshunds. We say, "Are you fostering them or did you adopt them?" Back story, she has two currently and had just lost a third one to old age last year. At that time she said, "No more than two now at a time." So, what is up with this? A neighbor had contacted her and told her that a grand dame in Naples (her neighborhood) had recently passed and her two dachshunds needed a home. Of course, my reaction was, "Oh please don't tell me that you took in two more?" She says, "Well I had them meet our two and they all got along great together." Picture me on the phone now rolling my eyes! Then she said, "They came with a 'trust fund'." My reaction, "What?" She repeats herself, "They came with a Trust Fund." We at the School of Flaunt said, "O.K. - now explain this to us." Here's the deal. All of the expenses of the dogs will be given to the vet. He will send in the bills to the trust and our friend will receive a check every month. One of the precious little ones needs special dog food at $5/can. Of course, they need grooming, baths, nails done etc. If my friend goes on vacation the Vet will board them. If they need to be walked she may hire a professional dog walker. Bedding, toys etc. all covered. And all vet bills are paid for! All she needs to do is love them up. So, our dear students of flaunt, this is a lesson for you. You should have your animals well provided for in case of your early or later demise. Just another day in The School of Flaunt!

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Stop the Holiday Madness

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Friday, December 16, 2016

 

 

 

Stop the Holiday Madness

 

Ah, the smell of fresh greens, mulled wine and homemade cookies is in the air. But wait there is also the smell of too many cinnamon flavored candles, women wearing to much perfume and yes Grandmother's favorite Holiday sauerkraut recipe slowly cooking for hours on the stove top.  STOP THE MADNESS, yes you can overdo for the holidays.   Heed our advice below and your holiday season should not turn into a nightmare.

 

 

1.      Those Horrible Holiday Sweaters that make you look like a Balloon in the Macy's Parade! We beg you, ugly Sweater parties are getting a bit old, don't you think?

2.      Decorating every room in the house, including your bedroom! Come on people, waking up to a tree in your Bedroom or Master Bath only signifies that you need to "Get a Life!" A Santa Face toilet cover can only be described as Ghastly! If you have the matching toilet paper roll too get rid of both. 

3.      Thinking you need to give the exact number of gifts to every family member, including pets! Cousin Billy doesn't need to have a gift just because you are giving to his mother. 

4.      Decorating your yard with Holiday Gnomes, remember we said "No plastic in your yard or home! While we are on the subject, only use one color of lights. Unify the look. Done.

5.      Too many Party Stops in one night. One cannot drink and drive about! Max out at 2 events and Uber Home. Please stay long enough to enjoy what the host and hostess have gone to the trouble of creating. Don't leave early if dinner is provided! Bad form, that one.

6.      Putting out your back to get the "perfect" Frontgate Tree up from the basement! Here Cate has had some experience. Even though her super tree can roll out of the closet, she doesn't have a closet large enough to store it in and roll out on the main floor of her home. So, she pays someone young and strong, in fact two some ones to "roll" the tree up the stairs from the basement. This saves a trip to the Urgent Care and meds.  A win, win!

7.      Lighting every nook and cranny of your outdoor space.  Puhleese, lights are wonderful, but enough is enough. The Jury is still out on this new Cover Your Home in Lights and Spots. And the dreaded Laser lights can be a bit unnerving. Don't aim into the sky and blind a Southwest Pilot! Federal offense and jail time is not a good plan. No mani's or pedi's offered in there either.

8.      Dieting of any kind. No one wants to talk to a "loser" while stuffing their face. And please if you are a Vegan you don't need to look down your nose at the meat eaters during the holidays.  Comments like this are strictly off limits in the month of December, Ex: "I don't eat anything had bones in it."  Holier than thou my friend makes your name disappear pronto off the guest list in the future.   Need we say anymore?

9.      Re-gifting. Please donate any unwanted items. Wrapping up last year's Lazy Susan from Aunt Pearl can backfire and cause many hurt feelings.

10.   And stop with giving the proverbial pair of "Holiday "socks.   Surely you can be more inventive than that.

11.   Finally, get enough rest and enjoy your family and friends. No political arguments or religious snipes!

 

Wishing you all a Happy Hanukah and a very Merry Christmas.

 

Your Divas of Good Taste,

Alexandra Smythe and Cate Clarke

www.schoolofflaunt.com

#holidayparties#holidaycelebrations#Uber#holidaydecorating#vegan

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A Reflection on Muhammad Ali, The Greatest One.

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Saturday, June 11, 2016

A Reflection on Muhammad Ali, The Greatest One.

Manners ... remember to always be minding them.

Author ... Alexandra Smythe

Many, many years ago he was one of my passengers on a flight. I made it a rule to never ask for autographs since I felt it was an intrusion on their privacy and just not respectful. But in this case I decided to throw caution to the wind. A very good friend of mine had been in Nairobi during the "Rumble in the Jungle." The next day after the fight, the newspaper in Nairobi published a full page picture of Muhammad Ali with a title above it in two inch letters saying, "ALI is KING!" My friend purchased five copies of the newspaper. And this was not an easy task since they were flying off of the racks. Why did he purchase that many? Because he wanted to make sure that nothing would happen to just one copy on his way home from Africa. No one was even allowed to read these papers. Note: Always make sure you have a backup when possible! But I digress, after he got home he had the full page framed, put under protective glass and had it hanging in his office. So, now here was the KIng himself on my flight. What a gift I could give my friend, an autograph that he could include with that framed newspaper page. So I approached The Greatest and told him the story and asked if he would mind giving my friend and autograph. He smiled that radiant smile and said, "Of course but I need something to write it on." Thank God that day we still had plenty of TWA writing paper on board. (This was the golden age of flying remember, now you don't even get a pillow!) Muhammad Ali wrote, To Sandy: Peace on Earth. Muhammad Ali and the date. Well, to say my friend was thrilled was the understatement! He had the framed newspaper reframed and added the autograph. Many years later, Muhammad was flying with me again. I thought he might enjoy hearing the story and knowing how special that autograph was. He had Parkinson's badly then and couldn't smile easily but he gave me a half smile and softly said, "Thank you." I was glad to tell him how special that autograph was and how it was still hanging in my friend's office with that newspaper front page from Nairobi. He seemed to be pleased with it too. May you Rest In Peace sir, your pain has ended but you will always be remembered: ."Float Like a Butterfly ... Sting Like a Bee." #Muhammadali #Ali #Floatlikeabutterfly #TheGreatest #fighter #Nairobi

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The Met Gala 2016 is Flaunt at it's Best!

Category: SOF Divas’ Diaries ®  |  Permalink

Published: Wednesday, May 4, 2016

 

 

 

The Met Gala 2016 is Flaunt at it's Best!

 

The Met Gala 2016 is one for the books. Often referred to as "the party of the year" and "the Oscars of the East Coast," A-listers like Taylor Swift and the fashion elite converge at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City for the annual black-tie benefit for the Costume Institute.

Controlled guest list by Anna Wintour and sparkling celebs make this Red Carpet amazing. This year's theme was " Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology" and it did not disappoint. How much does it cost to attend? If you have to ask, you can't afford it. Free for top celebs, $30K for us regulars and $275K per table. They raised $12.5 Million in one "Save the Ball Gown" evening. Staggering.

 

If you missed it, we have our Favorite Flaunts:

 

Blake Lively in Burberry and Kerry Washington in Marc Jacobs , both pregnant and gorgeous.

 

Zoe Saldana in a long train of Peacock Floral Feathers by Dolce & Gabana.

 

Katy Perry in a Scary Black and Gold Prada! Scerry Perry

 

Lupita Nyong'o wearing a shimmering Calvin Klein and a Large Hair Chess Piece on her head.

 

Bey with a Super Jeweled Spanx Dress by Givenchy. She did look amazing.

 

Rita Ora in a Silver Swan Vera Wang ensemble.

 

Ciara with show stopping Silver Hair to enhance her gown by H & M. You heard right, H & M.

 

Karoline Kurkove in Marchesa & IBM that responded to tweets and emotions by changing color! She said the Battery Pack was "keeping her warm".

 

Lady Gaga in a Metal Circuit Board Bathing Suit and Cover Up by Atelier Versace and 10 inch heals that made us cringe for her. Any reports of sprained or broken bones? Seriously, did she get home in one piece?

 

Kate Hudson in a Peek a Book White Bridal Gown by Atelier Versace.. to which above mentioned Lady Gaga was supported herself by holding on.

 

Jenners and Kardashian-Wests in Balmain. No surprise there.

 

But the pies de resistance:

 

Clare Danes in a Cinderella Light Up Gown, by Zac Posen, she shared on Instagram prior to the Red Carpet.

Absolutely on theme and too gorgeous!

 

Now what will you do with your 30K you saved last night? Hope it's Flaunt Fabulous!!

Cate and Alexandra

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